Because I Can

I've thought about this post for a long time - why did I so rarely go to work then and how can I do it now?

The answer as I see it is painfully simple. I used to stay home because I could. As for why I wanted to, well, I guess I'm lazy and a little self-destructive. I was irritated that I made so little money and was taking full advantage of the flexible schedule. I liked the idea that I could do my job well with minimal effort.

I now go to work because I have to. Not just the 'show up or get fired' rationale, but the fact that I'm busy when I'm at the office. I have meetings and phone calls, projects and people who rely on my presence. I feel important and liked and enjoy that people expect I'll show up when I say I'll do so.

There are days when I don't want to do it. I make my usual list of excuses and then I think of the tasks for the day. Meetings I'll miss and how I can't really catch up. Phone calls I'd have to make to let people know I'd be absent. Phone calls I'd have to accept as people called with questions or for input. It seems easier to just show up and do my job.

And the lovely thing is - after arriving at 7AM and leaving close to 7PM - I get to feel really good about myself and my contributions. I don't know how I would have made the switch in my old environment - I wish I had better advice for how to turn things around if you feel lost and unmotivated and desperate to just stay home during the day. But I do know I feel better having broken the habit. And I'll keep thinking of ways to do so without picking up and moving north.