Trigger

It turns out that missing a night’s sleep does bad things to my brain. Migraine symptoms abound lately. I feel an inescapable need to sleep, growing unbearably dizzy when I can’t. My head hurts – sharp, unrelenting throbbing that makes me skin feel too hot and vision blur. I’ve taken medicine, nibbling crackers and toast to keep from expelling said painkillers, and breathed through the misery.

Email has arrived, each message piling atop the last, all of them eager for my attention. I’ve tried – reading and thinking and taking what calls I can. I felt better today, joining several conversations and growing only slightly snippy when people insisted on thwarting me.

“We need to pull the trigger here,” someone said and I rolled my eyes, wincing when it caused a sharp pain in my temple. There are a few business phrases I dislike – that’s one of them. We seem to be in this constant state of being almost – but not quite! – ready to pull this trigger. Make a decision, take an action, do a thing!

“More is lost to indecision than the wrong decision,” a salesman once offered. “You meet someone, you like the way she looks. Jump in bed and see how things go.”

“I’m a bit more discriminating,” I said seriously and did not return his grin.

But as the headache eases, I feel this need to wrap things up. Go or no-go? I keep asking people. Just decide. We’ll inform people. We’ll either lose because they’re disappointed or win because we did well. Either way, I’m tired of talking.

And if my headache doesn’t stop soon, I’m going to beg someone to aim at me before he pulls this trigger I keep hearing about.