Social? Me?

Today’s post will be about my lengthy trip north for this class. At one point, I begged God to show me the freaking lake that means there’s no more north left to go in Ohio. Instead, He gave me I-271 that goes all the way to Erie, PN. Apparently that was punishment for the excessive amount of profanity directed at my fellow drivers throughout the day. Seriously though – if I’m trying to go 20 miles over the speed limit, don’t be in the left lane going 66 in a 65 mph zone. And yes, there were times today where I was driving 85 and it was lovely. Dangerous, but efficient.

I stopped twice. Again, I’m efficient, so each stop much include gas, a restroom and the possibility of food. The first gas station had bathroom entrances on the outside of the building. Not cool. So I decided that I’d get french fries and stopped at McDonalds. This threw off the whole plan, since now I had to go inside due to the poor restroom placement at the gas station. But fine. Once in the building, I found myself seriously considering going back to my car and using the drive-thru rather than ordering at the counter. Really.

What is wrong with you? I asked myself, and walked briskly to the counter to prove that I was not, in fact, suffering from serious social problems. It was actually lovely. Tracey took my order, then told me my hair was very pretty. Rather than asking if she saw any gray in it, I smiled and replied that she was very sweet, and thanked her.

In addition to the 6 cups of coffee I had consumed (requiring the use of 2 travel mugs), I decided a soda was necessary. As I walked over to fill the cup Tracey gave me, still smiling and fluffing hair that I’d curled that morning, I had a nice conversation with a blonde woman about the weather. I didn’t get her name. But I walked to my car wondering when I had last stepped inside to get fast food. I just never do it. It was a strangely pleasant experience.

An aberration, I told myself. I’m not like anti-social all the time. So I rejoined traffic on the interstate and wondered why I hadn’t flown to this class. I told Jill, our secretary, that it would be really expensive to book a flight on such short notice. I didn’t know what to do with my dog, driving doesn’t bother me now that I have the iPod, blah, blah, blah. Upon closer thought, flying would have been faster, certainly. Less trouble. And I wasn’t paying for it, so why hadn’t I just taken a plane?

But I wrinkled my nose just thinking about it. People are always too close to me when I fly. Sitting next to me on the plane, waiting in line, going through security. Making conversation out of boredom when I’m clearly playing with my computer or reading a book. Plus, airports are crowded – I don’t like crowds. Then there’s the lack of control. But mostly the people – I don’t want to deal with the people. It’s easier to just drive myself. Then I can actually yell at those who dare irritate me without the risk of them actually hearing.

A lot of people would rather drive, I comforted myself. It’s not like I’m completely isolated from the outside world – communicating only through drive-thru speakers, turn signals and glares, and email. Ah, the email. My vastly preferred mode of communication. I wish my voice mail said “If you can send email, please do so. I’d really rather not talk with you.” But that’s not nice. And I finally made Jill understand that I don’t like my pager. I check email if I’m at all free, so just write a note and I’ll respond as soon as I possibly can. I promise.

I shook my head and sought a distraction, pushing the button to skip forward through the shuffling songs on the iPod. Dismayed, I realized I can’t remember the last time I listened to the radio. Instead, I constantly look for static on radio stations so my FM transmitter can work properly. And I buy music as I buy books – iTunes or amazon recommends it, so I consider, then purchase what sounds right. I just feed information – rate songs, buy items I like – then I can see what else might work for me without having to talk to anyone at all!

And maybe I do, in fact, have a bit of a problem.