Grand gesture, part 3

My playlists finally complete, the FM transmitter delivered and settled in the box, I was just waiting for Kathryn to make her appearance. She was due to arrive before her original shipment date, so she headed out from China several days early.

In my family, we love to give large gifts – shower someone with something they likely didn’t expect because it’s so much fun. So this was actually in character for me – I’ve always loved doing something really cool to make a big impression. So this gift – the money, the time, the planning – was pure joy for me, and it felt like something I would naturally do.

The other tradition in my family is to be so very pleased with our generosity that the gift itself becomes a source of worry. So I started to wonder about little Kathryn. What if he broke her? Scratched her delicate little screen beyond repair? Yanked out her little connector instead of gently depressing the buttons located on each side? Forgot to eject her before disconnecting from his computer? Or, horror of horrors, what if he synced automatically and lost all my audio files?! All the music! The books! The movies! They were so perfectly organized – better than I’d done with my Chandler.

John isn’t stupid. He is, in fact, very bright. But I sent a list of instructions anyway. Because I can’t stand the thought of him breaking my lovely gift.

Then I finished these blog entries, printed Word documents so that he could see my reasoning, and placed them carefully in the box.

Kathryn arrived as expected, and I carefully gave her the files from iTunes. Painstakingly tested her to make sure the transfers were successful. Then placed her back in her tiny box for another trip.

I closed the box, checked John’s address one last time, and taped it closed with the brief thought that I hoped he would be pleased. Surprised, certainly, but also filled with pleasure that someone liked him that much – wanted him to remember that some days brought questions of where good things came from instead of wondering what he’d done to deserve another bad moment.

For me though, his reaction was actually a bit secondary. I needed the reminder that I could find pure kindness in myself – the desire to give comfort, joy and iPods. This grand gesture represented hope for me too – that I’m still learning a lot, looking for someone with whom to share my life, figuring out my own career stuff, having bad days. Within all of that though, I’ve developed the ability to be a friend – to love people in a pretty generous way.

On the way home from the post office, insurance and delivery confirmation slip tucked away in my purse, I smiled at myself. If I didn’t already have an iPod, I mused with a glance at Chandler as he sat attached to my own FM transmitter, someone might send me one. I think I’d deserve it too.

As a final note, John has, in fact, received the gift. His reaction, as I stated, wasn't really the point of telling the story. I haven't told you much about him at all, have I? I will say that he's lovely - deserving of far more than an iPod. I feel exceedingly lucky to know him and find myself hoping I end up romantically linked with someone quite like him in the future. He understood and appreciated the gift to exactly the right degree. John's a very good guy, and I'm sure I'll remain quite fond of him.