Update

"I'll do it," I offered yesterday, speaking softly and smiling when four faces turned toward me in surprise. "I know how," I continued when they remained silent. "I even did a post-doc. I can write code and take data and analyze results."

"Of course," the project leader finally replied when his three scientists continued to look bewildered. "But we just needed you to approve the plan. Adam..." he trailed off, looking uncertain.

"Adam doesn't come to the labs," I assured him. Eager to escape my office - the ringing phone and continuously-arriving email - I wanted to remain in the working space of the building. After I literally shooed them away, they left me to work and I spent the next 10 hours carefully looking for bugs and writing down measurements and squinting at computer screens.

"No," I stated today in sharp contrast to my helpfulness of yesterday, though the speechless reactions of surprise were much the same from this group. "I don't think it's important," I explained, "and I'm not doing it." I looked around and frowned at the lack of reaction to my grand announcement. "No," I said again, just to be clear.

We did finally argue and I got to raise my voice a bit as I battled my way to victory. Pleased with myself, I returned to my desk and set to catching up from my absence last week and day in the labs yesterday. I excused myself from a meeting at 5:15, explaining that my parents were waiting at my house and that I wanted to see them.

After giving hugs and having dinner, we've scattered throughout the house for the evening. Dad's watching television in the living room while Mom plays on the computer in my office. I'm OK - certainly much better than last week, but I still feel flat a lot of the time, but with sharp bursts of moodiness. Each day gets easier though so it's getting to be time to thank you for bearing with me over the last few weeks. I am quite grateful.