Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Better than Expected

I missed four more calls from my doctor. The 'nothing scary' part is that they're 99% certain it's a fibroid and not a malignant mass. The 'pretty freaking scary!' flipside is that it's big. And, given the way it's shoving at my right ovary (Have you seen images of your ovaries? They're rather pretty.), they think it should be removed. So while I've stopped picturing my corpse, lying in wait for people to pay their last respects, I instead imagine myself unconscious while being cut open. I guess that's better, but it's still rather morbid and icky. Anyway! I'm grateful it's not dangerous but remain sorry it's there at all. Ick.

I had been dreading a meeting today. I got on a plane quite early, shoved my suitcase in an overhead compartment and took my seat. I wrote part of my talk - I'm being all sincere and Katie-esque and am getting rather excited about the whole thing - and obtained a rental car. Once a valet took it at the hotel, I pranced inside, red heels clicking on the polished floors and touched up my make-up before a salesguy picked me up. He looked at my shoes, grinned at me - all sweet friendliness - and didn't comment.

The meeting - filled with staff scientists who were as young as they were male - was a bit as I feared. Scoffing statements and brash comments that were only half true. Yet they listened and I made some points and only had to stare at my shoes to remember I was smart and confident and a little silly before continuing to politely battle back. Still. I was glad when it was over and even more pleased when I returned to my hotel and finally checked in, opening my door mere minutes later to tip the nice man who brought the luggage I'd checked earlier today.

After I'd gotten all excited, Adam wanted to take the talk from me and give it to someone else. I understand his point and offered my weak support to his plan, all the while despairing that it was my talk in front of thousands of people. I love our product! I love attention! I even had my outfit picked out! But it looks like a few key people (besides me) want me to do it. So I'm hoping I get to. Which will give me fits when I'm sick with nerves before I walk up to the podium, but still. Mine!

I do like traveling in the summer. Pretty dresses and skirts and sandals are much lighter than sweaters and slacks and sturdy shoes. My suitcase was delightfully easy to carry when the escalator was broken. What I like even better is being nearly done. I'm a single meeting away from a long nap tomorrow afternoon and an early plane back to home. While not perfect, I'm feeling better than I thought I would.


Amanda@Lady Scientist said...

I'm so happy that things are going better than you thought. I hope the trend continues!

Unbalanced Reaction said...

I'm glad that we've moved from scary to icky, although I think pictures of said ovaries and shoes are needed, stat. :-)

Amelie said...

I'm glad it now looks better. Take care.

Psycgirl said...

I'm sorry to hear about the possible surgery, but so glad to hear that it is not what you were fearing

phd me said...

That is good news! Surgery's no fun, true, but still, I'm glad you've had the update. And if I haven't mentioned it before, Bloglines isn't picking up your blog so I'm just catching up!

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