Unhappy people strive to make others miserable, I recited to myself. Pity the unhappy people. Do not allow the unhappy people to bother you.
But I hate her, I seethed, taking a momentary break from my deep breathing and soothing thoughts. She’s so condescending and useless and awful!
“I understand,” I told her for the third time, “that you feel that way.” I bit off the words, narrowing my eyes in a severe glare despite my best efforts to stay collected and controlled. I’m not though – I’m passionate and take criticism personally, especially that of the personal variety. So when she said she was ‘concerned’ about my friendship with a particular man, I nearly rolled my eyes.
I like people at work. I daresay I’m growing to love some of them, feeling tears pool in my eyes when a colleague talked of some family problems with me, grinning happily when another woman told me of her daughter’s progress at school. So sharing meals and conversations and laughter with a guy I think is rather wonderful? I frankly find her disapproval obnoxious and ridiculous.
“I bet you eat alone at your desk a lot,” I wanted to say. “Because nobody likes you very much, right?” Instead, I curtailed the conversation as best I could, continuing to repeat the same phrase each time she’d pause for breath - I understand that you feel that way. Finally realizing I wasn’t going to offer anything other than those seven words on the topic, she moved on. I took a deep breath, trying to keep the anger in check, and moved on to the topics at hand.
Annoying people exist in academia too, I reminded myself as I pulled in my garage and wondered what I’d have for dinner. I left my laptop in the car, refusing to work tonight when my job made me feel crappy today. I just need time to process and calm down, I told myself firmly when I moved to go out and retrieve my work computer. If it comes in, I’ll send her email that tells her that I’m offended and she was out of line. And I don’t want to give her the satisfaction.
Unhappy people strive to make others miserable, I recited to myself. Pity the unhappy people. Do not allow the unhappy people to bother you.
It's not working.
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2008
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October
- Revelation Delayed
- Character Flaw
- Puppies, injuries and miserable pain
- Meander
- Swear Like a Sponge
- Eat, sleep, breathe
- 13 Hours of Dedication
- Unwelcome surprise
- …before I sleep
- Chienne's Search & Rescue
- Chores
- On Being Awesome
- Unremarkable
- Resolution
- Repetitive
- Nice (and Clean!)
- The Girls Go Home
- The Girls' First Visit
- Good, Bad, Obvious
- Chilling. (And icky.)
- A Shift of Focus
- Conversational Snippets
- Expectations
- I think not. (A job search response.)
- Economic Instability
- Brand New
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October
5 comments:
The last time anybody was concerned with who was having lunch with whom was, as far as I remember, back in high school.
Some people really need their daily dose of drama... and will look for it in the weirdest places.
Do not pity her. Ignore her. She does not deserve you worrying about her when you get back home in the evening.
I agree with Citronella, that's not work stuff...that's high school shit.
Who has time for that?
Unless she will be writing you a letter of rec or has some sort of influence on higher-ups, she is not worth your time at all.
Stay professional but give her nothing beyond that. She is not worth your time.
You comment is clear now. (Bad, bad microbiologist xx for being behind on blog reading) Anyway. None of my co-workers had the nerve to confront me about some stupid assumption they made. I applaud your self control. I am afraid I still have a ways to go in that department.
"Unhappy people strive to make others miserable, I recited to myself. Pity the unhappy people. Do not allow the unhappy people to bother you."
this is a great thing to remember. good for you!
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