On Being Awesome

“Awesome,” Adam said, British accent adding a certain something to the word. I’d looked over at him – seated to my right in the fanciest of conference rooms – and raised my eyebrows for a performance review. “A plus plus,” he concluded and I grinned happily.

“I enjoyed it,” I mused as I trotted beside him, moving back toward our offices. “It’s an interesting topic and I’ve studied it a long time. So I’m pleased!”

“Should be,” he offered, patting my back before disappearing into his room while I continued to my own. I spent the week, I thought as I attached a file to an email addressed to upper management, making four slides. Well, I made more like 20. I used four. Talked for 30 minutes on them. Answered questions competently and quickly. Found my rapid manner of speaking was appreciated for efficiency’s sake. I sent the email with the result of my labor, grinned once more and headed off toward a lab to do a bit of work before coming home.

“Hey,” I said to Adam and Sally. The latter was backing up data before leaving for the weekend. The former glanced up and nodded at me.

“I just ran into the group as they were leaving. They said you knew what you were talking about – were rather impressed, actually.”

“Really?” I replied happily, ducking my head with bashful pleasure. I tapped his hand with my own when he raised it for a high five, resisting the urge to cuddle my boss since he looked so tired at the end of the week.

“Thank you for all your help,” I said softly. “I do love working for you. I owe you some sort of present,” I decided, wondering what I should get.

He grinned before standing to leave, shrugging on a jacket as he headed out to a dark, rainy evening. “Just keep showing up,” he suggested and I grinned, adopting a worried expression when he offered a weak smile in return. I chatted with Sally for a bit, finally finishing my last few tasks and returning to my desk to pack up for the weekend.

“I did well,” I softly informed my empty office before depressing a button to extinguish the lights. Nodding with no small amount of satisfaction, I headed toward the lobby. As I walked, I thought of a dear friend from grad school.

“It sucks most of the time,” she said of research. “But when you get proofs for a paper or a grant gets funded? It’s all worth it – the long days and frustrating hours at the computer, reading all the papers and thinking of the failed hypotheses. It’s a rush – those moments when you know you succeeded.”

“Still a rush,” I said out loud, this time to the inside of my car. A good presentation to management, a pleased supervisor, a blog post to make sure the moment was recorded. It's different, yes, but it's pretty freaking awesome.