Thursday, October 09, 2008

Chilling. (And icky.)

There are awful sounds during the killings.

I paused, a puff of popcorn halfway to my lips, and frowned earlier this week. I tipped my head up, gazing at the ceiling of my basement, and muted the television so I could hear the noise if it was repeated. It wasn’t and I soon shrugged and nibbled on buttery goodness before offering a bite to Chienne.

“Oh,” I said when realization dawned a moment later. There was a thud when Sprout pounced on the floor above my head and I realized the sound I’d heard had been his cry of warning and pleasure before yet another mouse met his demise. I wrinkled my nose, disturbed, and put the popcorn away as my appetite fled.

Even knowing there was a dead creature in the house, I yipped with alarm when I realized Sprout had carried the corpse to rest on the landing at the bottom of the stairs. I took the long way, moving through the bathroom and laundry room to approach the stairs from the opposite direction, skirting the rodent while keeping my eyes carefully averted. I returned with the trusty broom and dustpan I keep for mouse removal and made the steps safe for climbing once again.

“Are you kidding me?” I groused last night as I sat at my desk, peering at figures and making sure the presentation was as stunning as possible. I heard my stripey cat emit the same chilling sound and shuddered with sympathy for the mouse and dread of cleaning up the results of this evening exercise. The bell Sprout now wears around his neck makes the event even more grotesque, the happy jingle at odds with the murderous actions of he who wears it.

Yet I did what I typically do when I find something bothersome – ignore it as long as possible.

“Done?” I asked the cat as he moved into the office, an edge of irritation in my voice. My emotion of choice shifted quickly to alarm when I realized the mouse’s tail dangled limply as Sprout carried the small, gray body toward where I sat in my chair.

“No, no, no!” I screeched. “Do not bring that toward me! Gross! Icky! Ew!” Having scampered to the entry foyer during my frantic refusal of my feline’s gift, I glanced over to see him move haughtily toward the stairs, arranging himself regally on the second one from the bottom while the mouse lay in the middle of the floor. I sighed and returned to the room with mouse-removal tools in hand, but there was something about how the creature lay there, frozen in the grip of death and with his tiny paws curled into defenseless claws.

Dropping the dustpan on the floor, I approached the cat with an angry stride that failed to impress him. I scooped him up and stomped upstairs, placing him in the toy room where he typically sleeps the day away and closing the door firmly, locking him inside. I wrote to Friend, sharing my horror, disgust and irritation and was gently scolded for refusing the gift the cat had bestowed upon me.

I told her I was not going to praise his hunting skills and eat a dead mouse, regardless of what feline protocol demanded, but agreed that it was better that he left the bodies in obvious places rather than tucking them somewhere to rot. Sighing with defeat, I released him from the bedroom, receiving a dark glare for my efforts, and went to fetch another dead mouse.

Such is life these days, I'm afraid. I can shriek and stomp and sulk all I want, but it changes little in the end. It saves time to just put my head down and dispose of the task at hand.

10 comments:

TitleTroubles said...

Poor Sprout. He keeps trying and trying to teach his giant kitten to hunt, but said kitten appears to be a very slow learner. This will, of course, require a redoubling of the educational effort.

Julie @ Bunsen Burner Bakery said...

Sprout is just trying to bring you a gift!

Not to um, totally gross you out (even though I know it will), but once when I was in high school, my parents went away for the week, and I was left to take care of the cats. In order to please me and make sure I would take good care of them, once they realized my parents were gone and I was the one in charge, my father's cat caught a mouse... and left the dead mouse... on my pillow in the middle of the night. It was right there next to me when I woke up in the morning, and the cat looked so pleased with herself.

Brigindo said...

The Brute, when he was allowed outside, killed all sorts of mice and birds but never brought them home. While I didn't want to clean them up I was a little insulted that I didn't rate gift status.

Anonymous said...

eek, how scary! and btw, i make lots of noises when trying to kill bugs and stuff in my house.

Anonymous said...

" dispose of the task at hand."

The cat. Dispose of the cat at hand.

No more dead mouse troubles.

rented life said...

Our kitties don't go out, but they mimic the same behavior with their toy mice--yowling and bringing the mice to me, leaving them on the bed, proudly going through the "look what I caught for you" bit. But even if it were real I'd have the same response "oh you caught a mousie? good job" before moving on to whatever needs to be done (rid of real mouse for example.) Sprout will love you for it.

Anonymous said...

OK, this is better. Carnage!!!!

post-doc said...

I am not a giant kitten, Friend. He has a better shot with the dog, and even that is going to take considerable time and energy. Given that Sprout sleeps all day to save up energy to kill creatures under cover of darkness, I'm thinking he's on his own.

EthBr:
I know. I do not want that gift. I'm actually very worried I'll wake up with something dead soon, but am hoping Chienne will protect me from said presents.

Brigindo:
Sprout is very giving and ridiculously proud of himself. I wish he'd dial it back a bit. But I do like that he's so happy all the time.

JustMe:
Given the frequency at which I talk to myself, it'd be odd if there weren't sounds of disgust and horror when I have to clean up dead things. But it is icky!

Richard:
No, I love him and he's mine. Dead mice or not, Sprout lives here. I do wish cats were more trainable though.

Rented Life:
I didn't mind the toys he brought. It's the real mice that freak me out. And I can't bring myself to express appreciation for something that horrifies me. Just Can't Do It. (Though I know Sprout is painfully disappointed in me.)

Geeka:
I had one of those! It scared the dog and fascinated the cat. But it did work for about a year when I was south. My current door is one that fits in next to the sliding glass door. It was expensive and came with a flexible plastic covering that is no match for a determined cat. But it's a good thought - thanks for the suggestion.

PP: You're pleased? My life is now complete.

TitleTroubles said...

You may deny being his giant kitten all you want. As I said, you are a slow learner.

Anonymous said...

"I do wish cats were more trainable though."

they are... but then we call then 'dogs'.

;)

Post a Comment