Monday, October 15, 2007

Up, up and away

I just sent email to Boss as I sit here at my parents' local airport. I had to press the button for service in a nearly empty lobby. I was checked in by a rather brusque gentleman and walked through security with only the employees around me as I took out my laptop and little baggie with lipgloss inside. I found a table away from the crowd that is waiting for the delayed 9:30 flight. I'm starting to worry that O'Hare is running behind and will screw with my travel day today. If so, that is not cool O'Hare. Let's get things going, shall we?

Boss, returning to my story and away from my fearful 'what if I miss my plane?! I've never done that before!!' thoughts, replied that all sounded well and we should meet when I return to discuss our plans of work yet to do.

Which made me frown despite the agreeable email I sent in reply. It's hard to deny I'm in the 'wrap this puppy up' mode. I'm writing and doing last bits of analysis. My interview talk - such as it is - is written and I have other projects to discuss while I seek my next job. I'm not particularly eager to do more work now. I don't want to start something I can't finish - I have enough of those projects already and deeply regret this work that was carefully planned, hopefully begun then painfully stalled.

I've started doing retrospective analyses in my head. Within my postdoc, I wrote a blog. I made a Friend. I drafted a novel after having my poor heart broken. I became deeply depressed and started taking medication and went to therapy. I traveled a little. I slept a lot. I acquired a cat. I wrote a book chapter. And published my graduate work. I did all the work I could find to create something from this situation which should have been amazing and productive, yet somehow was not. (Sadly, very little of this can be presented in an interview. Bummer.)

Honestly, when I look back over my time since leaving my graduate institution, I find myself coming back to this collection of words that chronicle my time in nearly 700 posts, most of them far too long. I haven't carried this blog with me through graduation or to a different job. I'm doing much the same thing as I was when I started writing here. And while it strikes me as poetic to let this end when I leave this job, the likelihood of that happening is rather low.

Even as my motivation to write here - especially anything substantive and interesting - wanes, I like the idea of having a record of what happened. So that when I finally get to know what happens next, I can return to this and recall what it was like to wonder.

Right now - just for the record - it feels tense and nervous and a bit sick. I don't like the idea of the late flights, though apparently we're trying to make up time. (OK - I just looked. There was an aircraft issue that delayed the first plane. The one I'll take is on its way here now and should leave on time. Travel Agent makes me nervous though with these tiny layovers. Less than an hour at a connecting airport? That's as big as O'Hare? What if I have to freshen up or get a drink or grab a snack or find a book? What if I trip and hurt myself (as happens a great deal - I ran into an end table at my parents' last night for no reason at all)? Honestly!)

So. Minor Revisions - bringing you unnecessary whining and complaints since November, 2005. And likely to continue until I have less to freak out over. (Which means it's probably up to you guys to stop reading - I'm not going anywhere except up in the air and back down again. And I'll probably let you know how that went when I find wireless internet in my suite tonight.)

(Oh, and thank you for the lucky wishes! I shall try to use them and do very well tomorrow.)

Checking in:
The flights went smoothly though my pilot (same one on both little flights - isn't that odd?) liked to bounce the plane when he landed. I did not approve. There was also a tiny bug between the panes of glass of my window on the trip here. It was completely white, save a touch of black at the very tip of its hindquarters. I'll probably have nightmares about that bug.

I got a car at the airport and had a lovely conversation about how awful New York City is in terms of traffic and crowds and cost, yet how completely cool it is despite all that. I smiled in pure agreement, though I haven't ever visited. I'm north of there and the driver chatted with me until he left me at my hotel.

I have a lovely suite here. It has a desk with a real office chair (with wheels! and adjustable height!), a little kitchenette and a sitting room. Then I have two double beds and a huge bathroom. I ordered dinner - it should be arriving soon - and arranged for a car tomorrow morning to transport me to my interview. I am - with all honesty - feeling rather important as I use my free wireless and fill out my expense report. I'm going to run through my talk just once tonight, shower, iron and prepare to meet my next car early in the morning.

I'm not very nervous, which is quite strange for me. Perhaps I'll do brilliantly in terms of emotional stability. Or maybe the crazy-nervous feelings are just waiting to pounce. Yet I will enjoy my contentment for now - my lovely room in a pretty city with a day tomorrow that's all about me.


Lucy said...

I'm glad you're not planning to stop blogging! I hope your travels go smoothly. Good luck with your interview.

Anonymous said...

Here's to minor revisions! cheers :o)
and happy interviewing.

doc-in-training said...

Good luck with your interview!

Oanh said...

Good luck - I hope it all goes very well and exciting things open up for you. You deserve them.

Psycgirl said...

I'm glad you're not going to stop blogging.

I've never had room service, but every time you blog about it, I think I really need to try it!

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