So Very Tired

My heels are smooth! I purchased a heel-pumicey device from Bath and Body Works in a state of utter exhaustion this afternoon. I love their hand soap and wanted to take advantage of the continuing sale. Since my feet are in terrible shape, I decided I would try to remove a bit of the dead skin from them. It worked beautifully and I'm quite pleased. The rest of the day was, however, hit or miss.

"I have decided," I told Friend this morning, "that I wish to move the armchair out of the living room and put the schefflara in that window. Since it decided it was a tree, it has become too large for its spot in the kitchen."

"Well, that won't fit." I declared after trying to shove the chair down the hall and seeing parts of it hit both walls. I drug the heavy piece toward the front door and attempted to shove it out in the hot morning, but it wouldn't fit there either.

"You're going to have to help." I told Friend.

"I'm drinking coffee." She groused. "And I don't have on pants." I glanced at her nightshirt and deemed her decent enough to move furniture and insisted she rise from my couch - now on a different wall than it was the day before - and help me lift and move the chair out of my home. She pointed and gestured and lifted, returning to the living room after we deposited the chair outside the garage. I later made her return to help me get it inside the garage. I was wrong when I thought I could do it alone.

Pro: I love the new living room layout. It was time for a change and I'm pleased.
Con: "Thanks for helping me move that chair! I owe you."

She mistakenly interpreted my desire to avoid campus for another day as a wish to run errands all over hell and back in search of items she required. This interpretation was incorrect. Yet I recalled making her lift heavy items before she was completely awake and acquiesced to a trip to Kohl's to purchase jeans and towels, neither of which I wanted. I did find a couple of tops in the clearance section, and a skirt and watch on sale. But I soon ran out of patience with her multiple trips to the dressing room and countless pairs of jeans, announced my boredom and sighed until we were finally able to leave.

Then we went to WalMart, where I thought we would stay until the end of time. I'm lucky to have escaped alive. I don't even remember what I bought.

I demanded lunch at that point. I was very cranky and needed sweet tea. I was driving so turned in a parking lot and we found sandwiches, salads and drinks. Then we went to Bed, Bath and Beyond in a continuing quest for a waterproof mattress pad. (Something about cats and vomit and protecting the bed. I don't know.) I found DVDs that I wanted - one shows a beach and makes wave sounds. I want to see if it helps me sleep. I'll let you know. But I was thwarted in my search for the sights and sounds of water on a disc and became despondent when I wandered the brightly lit aisles, finding nothing on which to use my coupons. I rallied when I found the rack of DVDs, but the energy failed me when Friend insisted we go to the mall to look at more bedding.

"No." I said firmly. "I'm tired and cranky and my head hurts. No more shopping."

"But we're here!" She insisted. "The mall is right over there and I'll only have to look in Macy's. Maybe Dillards. And you could get your hand soap!"

"You hate me." I muttered as I followed her into Macy's a few moments later. "You hate me and you hate icing - it's melting on my WalMart cupcakes as we shop. What kind of monster hates me and icing?!"

She laughed and continued on, frowning over the small selection and deeming Dillards necessary. "I'm going to kill you." I threatened. "Perhaps stab you with a plastic fork. I can't believe you're making me walk more." The place where the straps of my flip flops attached to the bottom was rubbing a raw spot on each foot. My legs were achy from the walking and carrying. I wanted a nap. I missed home. I wanted to check my email.

I met the news that they had nothing of interest at Dillards with a glare. I picked out soap on sale and grabbed a scrapey-foot device because I was too tired to debate whether it would work well or not.

Perhaps moved by pity - but more likely deciding it was the best deal - Friend deigned to purchase her mattress pad at Macy's.

"You won't believe it." She said and I closed my eyes upon realizing they didn't have the right size.

"It's like a nightmare." I moaned. "And I can't wake up. I just want to go home."

"We could try Target." She mused once we were back in the car loaded with items, but still missing one thing on her list. I passed the parking lot without even considering pulling in.

"There's another Macy's on the way home." I sighed. "I must be an idiot, but I'll take you there. Then I'm going home."

"If we're there," she nodded, "then we might as well go to Verizon across the street!"

I ignored her then and did it again when we emerged with a mattress pad. Happily skipping Verizon, I did stop to replenish the alcohol supply. I need peach schnapps and triple sec to go with my mango soda. Pleased that I rarely buy alcohol - it's rather expensive - we came home to unload all that stuff while Friend did laundry since her water is off indefinitely while they fix a water main.

I am the beaten shell of a shopper. My stamina was crushed and I wanted nothing more than to rest. Work is much easier, frankly, and I look forward to sitting in my office - perhaps in my pretty new outfit - tomorrow.