Me vs. Gnats, round many

Score: I don't know. But I fear the gnats are winning. Ergo, a letter to my "pest control" company. Notes to you are italics.

Regarding: Cancellation of contract

To Whom It May Concern:

Motivated by pity for the poor kid selling pest control door to door in the heat, I decided that it would be worthwhile to purchase your services as a preventative measure. I hadn’t experienced pest problems to a great degree, which is what I told Eric. A roach here or there, a couple of spiders, two mice each winter. But spraying myself with items I picked up at Lowe’s didn’t seem overly impressive as I’m preparing to move in about a year when my fellowship at [current institution] ends. So it seemed a good decision to work with a reputable company and not have to worry about pest control at all.

I was very impressed with the young man who did the initial treatment. In fact, everyone with whom I’ve spoken has been polite and helpful, which is what I’ve come to expect from the time I’ve spent in and around [current city]. (See how I try to be polite?)

Yet just days after the treatment, I noticed there were gnats flying about. Many gnats. I hadn’t ever had a gnat problem before, so I thought perhaps the spiders had been keeping the flying insects in check and that everything would resolve itself in a couple of days. It has now been weeks and I’m living in gnat hell.

I spent last weekend bleaching my kitchen in hopes of finding a nest, though I’m not sure if gnats have nests. I’m allowing my houseplants to begin to die because I read that watering them allows gnats to live in the wet soil. My dog, Chienne, (I'm not sure why I told them her name.) doesn’t get a bowl of water because I woke each morning to find twenty or so gnats floating in the bowl. (Isn't that sad? I think that's sad.) I now wake to find more gnats than I’d care to count lying dead around my sink or on my stove (I have pictures. I can send them if you like.) (You people read my blog - you have to see the pictures regardless). I don’t leave dishes out, nor can I leave food on the counters. After cooking dinner, everything is quickly covered. I’m getting very skilled at slapping my hands together as I work on my laptop to kill the bug that flits around.

While Craig (service manager man) and I have been playing phone tag for nearly a week now, I have been told by several people at PayUsToGiveYouGnats that your ability to control flying pests is limited. Given that you can’t help with the gnats, I very much want to cancel my contract without penalty, and pray the spiders return soon.

I completely understand that you have provided the services Eric told me about. But I didn’t have a pest problem. $445 later – paid in advance for a year of service – I have a huge pest problem that is severely degrading my quality of life. I therefore feel I paid a considerable amount of money to get pests. I’d like that money back in hopes that I can return to my formerly gnat-free and lovely lifestyle.

I am happy to pay the $95 for the initial treatment. I asked several times that the second visit not occur, intercepting someone when I saw the truck in my driveway. I talked to two women at the front desk, explained the gnat problem and indicated my preference for the spiders to repopulate. I was therefore not pleased to find the statement hanging on my doorknob that someone had been out to spray again. In addition, I was not told of their arrival despite my giving my mobile, work and pager numbers.

I therefore would like $350 refunded to me. I feel the 60% penalty is grossly inappropriate in this case as I am deciding to cancel the contract under duress of swarms of gnats. If you have questions or feel it absolutely necessary to instate some lower penalty, please be in touch.

Thank you,
Katie

I hate the gnats so very much. Does anyone know of a way to infest a pest company with gnats if they refuse to refund my money? Anybody?