Friday, April 03, 2009

Habitual

I put coffee and cream into a travel mug and headed off to work before dawn most of last week. Upon rising one morning, I stared - befuddled - at the empty pot and shrugged before deciding to stop for a coffee en route. I repeated that routine - same time, same spot, same order - for the most of this week.

I ate sandwiches for lunch. I varied the source of said meals, but always had meat and cheese between bread.

I had burritos four nights this week. I would depart work, exhausted, and consider it simplest to return to the same Qdoba, consult the menu and find something with suitable cilantro levels that I would consume before bed.

When invited, I went out. Drinks with Adam one night in a German bar, sipping beer (it was what he'd ordered) and giggling at his jokes. A sunny shop with PrettyHair, sipping iced tea (it was what she'd ordered) and commiserating over aching heads and overwhelmed brains. A soda with a colleague as yet unnamed, following behind her as she selected a cup, filled it with ice and fizzy liquid, settled a lid atop and poked a straw through the hole.

I answered my phone. I replied to some email. I attempted to keep track of all the work I didn't have time to do, hoping I'd get to it later. And I worked and met and talked and revised. I slept, curled into pillows as I arranged myself on my side, and blinked myself awake each morning.

I winced upon hearing Adam's voice midway through the afternoon. I didn't want to work on this project anymore. I was tired and unmotivated and ready to be done. Briefly contemplating hiding under my desk, I sighed instead, waiting for him to take a chair across from my desk and giving him my attention.

"I think you're done," he announced and I blinked at him.

"I can go home?" I asked, afraid to be too hopeful. "And sleep?" He grinned and nodded, telling me to do what I had to do, but to escape the office a little early. "Only 9 hours today," I breathed. "It's luxurious!"

Finishing the task I'd been doing, I soon shoved my laptop into my bag and scampered from the office before someone forced me to stay. I must return tomorrow - the postponed work demands completion and I'm traveling again next week - but, for tonight, I may rest. Tomorrow I might not have to spend the whole day in the labs - maybe I'll take Chienne for a walk.

I rather like the idea of driving home during daylight hours and hope that's a pattern that sticks.

2 comments:

Amanda@Lady Scientist said...

I hope that the pattern sticks, too. There's something about leaving and arriving in the dark that makes me feel even more exhausted than normal.

JustMe said...

i hope so as well!

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