Wednesday, April 01, 2009

A compliment sleepily recorded

“So you finally figured out how to answer your phone,” he greeted me when I flipped open my cell and said hello.

I realized I forgot it when I was nearly to the office. While my commute is short and easy, I didn’t feel like repeating the 15 minute drive to go fetch the device though I did feel a bit lost without its weight in my pocket throughout the day. Nothing tickled my tummy with vibrations and I made multiple mental notes to replace the battery in my watch when I couldn’t consult a phone for the time.

I paused, unable to feel proud of my excellent parking space since I’ve obtained a very close spot all week, and watched the sun peek over the horizon past a patch of trees. I wandered past the company logo, polished and gleaming on a wall in the lobby, and arrived at my office before opening a phone line for a conference call and beginning my day at 6:30.

While I listened, I wrote a quick note to the group and informed them that I left my phone at home but would be around all day. We spent most of it together, checking numbers and walking through the life cycle of diseases. We continued to revise and perfect, trading documents and merging sections, until Adam joined us in the late afternoon.

“It all changed again,” I said flatly after glancing at him. “All that work,” I trailed off mournfully, feeling terribly sorry for the words and images that had been discarded for various reasons. Realizing I was exhausted – 5 hours of sleep each night is simply insufficient – and growing cranky, I took a breath and asked what we needed to do now.

Several hours later, and just over 12 hours since I arrived, we called it a day after reviewing tasks due by 2AM. Dragging myself toward the car after packing my laptop and slipping my bag over my shoulder, I stopped to get a burrito and tiredly drove home. I greeted Chienne, finally sitting down on the floor so we could cuddle while she whimpered in frantic happiness, climbed in the shower to wash my hair, remembered to eat dinner and began to work again.

I must have been in the shower longer than I thought, I decided when I picked up the phone and noted that Adam had called twice. I jumped when the phone buzzed in my hand and wondered what required multiple attempts to reach me in 30 minutes before placing my ear to the device and asking what was up.

“I wanted to compliment you, actually,” he said and I blinked in surprise. “I’ve been very impressed with you lately – you see topics very clearly and are asking good questions and offering valuable insight. I’ve seen a lot in you the last few days that surprised me – I think you have a lot of potential we need to develop.”

I laughed.

“Not that I don’t expect you to perform well or am surprised when you do,” he sighed as I giggled. So I apologized and indicated I was very tired but equally flattered that he was pleased.

“I know it’s been stressful,” he concluded, “but it was good for me to see your capabilities in this setting. I’m very impressed.”

“Thank you,” I replied. “It was very kind of you to tell me that – it’s been hard lately, but I love the group and like working for you. Mostly.”

I tried very hard, after hanging up, to assess the possibilities. Grow better at industry or endure until I’ve done enough that I can escape with pride intact. But my eyelids were heavy and my brain tired. So I opened my laptop and began to work, losing myself in the revisions and new information and yawning by the time I sent my slides and logged off for the evening.

Hair almost dry, bag already packed for my 8AM arrival time at the office tomorrow (Yay for sleeping in!), I considered curling up on the floor downstairs to rest but climbed the stairs instead, arranging myself on my side of my big bed with copious pillows and patted Chienne when she flopped on her side.

“Now we sleep,” I told her, but decided to write something since I’m reasonably certain this week will become a blurred memory, unable to properly encode in my sleep-deprived brain.

1 comment:

JustMe said...

yay for compliments!

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