Thursday, September 09, 2010

Date (-e +ing?)

"Am I," Adrian asked when I answered the phone at 7PM, "um, interrupting anything?"

I laughed and shook my head, telling him I was alone apart from my dog and cat, and asked what was up. We chatted about work until the pizza I ordered arrived and I ate 2 slices while watching television.

"I could have had a date," I had confided with no small amount of happy surprise, "but I left home before 6AM and worked late and had to take Sibling home anyway."

Telling Adam about Sunday's departure-from-normal event was spurred by a bit of nervousness. I'd arrived early and decided the Blackberry Messenger with my boss was as good a distraction as any. I'd told Sibling as well when she asked about my weekend, grinning at her expression of fascinated delight.

"It was lovely," I told her. "Easy and fun - it's the only first date I can remember where I came home feeling good rather than exhausted or disappointed." I paused, wondering if that could possibly be true and shrugging when I decided it actually was. I've long accepted I'm simply not very good at this.

I was disappointed that I had to turn down tonight's offer, though I knew I was too busy and tired and cranky to be good company. But when the phone rang after I'd taken a shower, I chirped a hello and settled in to talk, feeling somehow refreshed and energetic again.

Over an hour later, we'd mapped out potential plans for this weekend, talked and laughed.

I like him.

It seems as though he likes me.

And I'm completely lost as to what happens next - it's supposed to be I like him and he's flattered but uninterested or he likes me and I want to like him back but just don't. Instead, I find myself smiling over new email or pouncing on a ringing phone.

And even as it's rather wonderful - and I keep reminding myself to just relax and enjoy it - it's too abnormal for me to completely stop waiting for the flaw that means I'll end up hurt and alone again. But even as I try to protect my heart against it, I've ordered myself not to look for it.

I like him.

And it seems as though he likes me.

And that is a delightful change of pace.

4 comments:

lucy said...

Yay!

Anonymous said...

So happy for you!

-soon-to-be

Anonymous said...

Time to get JIGGY!

JustMe said...

yay!!!

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