Sunday, September 12, 2010


We played Kidz Bop Greatest Hits while Little and Smallest Ones jumped in the bouncy castle in the back yard and I beamed over the brilliance of my birthday gifts. A new song started and Brother and I, in one of those perfect moments of unity, looked at each other and began to laugh. I giggled until my stomach hurt, finally able to explain to Mom that the remake of this particular song was rather hysterical in its insensitivity.

"It's about a guy who's depressed," Brother explained, wiping tears from his face.

"'Where is the moment we needed the most?'" I quoted Daniel Powter's lyrics and paused to giggle. "And the kids in the background - happy as can be - shout 'Yeah!' Then it's 'You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost,' and the kids go 'Woo!'"

"They're so psyched that he's sad," Brother choked out, laughing again, and Mom finally joined us in one of those lovely moments where I know you have to be there to get it, but is too perfect not to record.

My performance on my date this afternoon was nothing short of dismal. We spent the afternoon in the sunshine, looking at and listening to things, but I was tired and got overheated and queasy and started to act like a brat. (I stayed silent or disagreed with what he said. I showed no enthusiasm for anything.) I tried to temper it but, well, perhaps I am kind of a twit because I couldn't keep it completely under wraps. He was nothing short of lovely - buying me water and searching for shade so I suffered through another hour and before asking if we could leave. I apologized for being a baby about the heat and we chatted as he brought me home.

I curled up after putting on pajamas and washing my face and let my shoulders slump. I was exhausted from the trip home and back and lack of sleep last night. I was sick - head aching and stomach churning - and couldn't get cool enough. I hadn't eaten since breakfast, having refused offers of dinner because I thought I'd throw up. And I'd ruined yet another chance of getting to know someone better! And this week is going to be busy and tough at work. And I think mosquitos bit me while I was outside. So I might get West Nile virus. And die.

So, as is apparently my habit, I started to sing Bad Day in my head. But instead of sinking into the fog of self-pity/loathing, I thought of kids dancing around and shouting "Yeah!" and cheering between every line.

And I smiled without meaning to.

Feeling a bit more peppy, I had some cheese and crackers and sipped Diet Pepsi. I came downstairs and put my feet up and thought about how I'd seen my nieces and received lots of kisses and cuddles. I got to talk with my parents and spend time with a man I enjoy. I have a job I love, even when it is stressful, and tonight I can sleep in my perfect bed with my piles of pillows.

So, well, Woo!

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