Monday, September 20, 2010

Avocado & Shampoo

When I have bad days, I promise myself chips and guacamole on the way home. (I went to get some at lunch.)

When I have terrible days, I come home and lose the work clothes on my way to the shower. I stand there until I feel a bit better - more peaceful and settled and serene. (I came home at 2:30 and my hair was wet by 2:32.)

I re-worked the same simple paperwork three times before it got accepted. That was mildly frustrating.

The headset to my phone was missing - I was shocked at the theft and, honestly, brokenhearted. I love that headset!

Instead of getting a presentation that was ready, I got a set of ideas for a talk that was due in 30 minutes. So I scrambled to find something that would work, growing flustered and freaking out.

While flustered, a collaborator called and asked me a difficult question. I answered honestly. And he flipped out - called a superior 4 levels above me and left me literally shaking with horror. That triggered a series of phone calls to various bosses and colleagues to try to prepare for the fall-out.

Feeling terribly guilty because I screwed up, I went to work with PrettyHair and almost cried when she was mean to me.

"Why?" I said to Adam when he patted my hand after I'd gone to him to sulk (and told him he should probably be preparing to replace me after this morning).

Courtesy of the fibroid, some periods are awful - this is one of them. I therefore felt crampy and gross and hyper-sensitive in addition to all the other crap.

Full of guacamole and sudsy in my basement shower, I took deep breaths and focused on the sound of the water around me. I am employed. (For now.) I am healthy. (Apart from my uterus.) My family is well. (Except Brother just lost another job.) I was able to leave work early. (Though I have a 2 hour phone call starting at 8PM.)

At this point, I'm calling it a loss and praying for tomorrow.


pika said...

I totally sympathise with horrible periods due to a fibroid - was in the same boat myself for many many years. Last May however I had the uterine fibroid embolisation done (I had one 7cm fibroid and several smaller ones) and I still can't believe what a difference that made!! Bleeding amount has gone down to about 1/4 of what it was before and while there isn't so much less pain as there was (I also have another gynae condition that causes chronic pain), now the painkillers actually do work.

Not saying you should do it, but perhaps just as an alternative to consider if your problems become too much, see this:

If you want to know more, let me know.

Amelie said...

Oh Katie, I'm so sorry. I used to have terribly painful periods due to another condition. Fortunately someone eventually took me seriously, diagnosed it and I got surgery... as Pika said, it may be something to consider. Hang in there.

Ms.PhD said...

What a yucky day. But it sounds like you have the right attitude. I made a similar mistake by being overly honest with a collaborator, and I think it may have cost me any job opportunities I would have had in academia. Seriously. So I've literally been there, hated that. Hope you don't have too many of these days.

An Oldie said...

Hi Katie.

So sorry to hear of your bad day.

I love your solution of jumping into shower as soon as one gets home. I shall try it next time I am in a bad mood. Yes, I shall try it tomorrow! LOL. Reminds me of that commercial, Calgon take me away! LOL.

Anyhow, I have to say, been there, done that, and then learned never to answer any question quickly, especially phone questions. Learned to ask them to email me and say please a few times, lol, and told them that I shall get back to them, and soon. Yes, there were times that my coworkers got mad at me for this, but then when they received my comprehensive email answer they got over it! You know, I hate it when people just go over your head. But I suppose it is bad for *their* reputation, not yours; that they could not do their job and had to get the big bosses involved, take their valuable time, the time they usually don't have.

Anyhow, good luck to you. I am sending positive energy.

Post a Comment