- When the sun shines on snow, it will be bright. You should wear sunglasses if you absolutely must leave your home.
- When standing in snow, your feet will get cold. The camera will focus on the poor reporter's feet to make sure we understand. Snow makes your feet cold if you absolutely must leave your home.
- If you children insist upon leaving your home to play in the snow, they should remember it is cold. They should wear hats, gloves and coats. And boots (see #2). And, for Heaven's sake, get them back inside as soon as possible.
- Driving is harder in the snow. There are many cars in the ditches, having crashed or been abandoned in the storm. It's really best if you don't leave your home.
- If you - for some unGodly reason - must leave your home, you should clean the snow and ice off the windows of your vehicle. You can do that with a scraper device or a credit card.
- There is enough snow to make a snowman. The reporters will do this while they wait for their next opportunity to impart more winter wisdom. Apparently practice is necessary to make good snowmen - these creatures on the news are the saddest piles of snow I've seen.
- (I learned this from watching out my front window.) If you lose traction when, I don't know, driving your giant truck around the corner, if you continue to accelerate, perhaps hoping that sheer force of will will propel you around the corner as you intended, I get to watch you spin all the way around. I enjoyed this - thanks.
Friend asked her boss for some measure of comparison for this amount of snow. "Is it like 3 feet of snow up north?" she asked.
"I don't leave my house in this," he replied. And, so, the rule applies. The news will help the lovely southern folks all it can, but it really is best if you stay safely inside your home. Which is why Friend decided to drive through the storm to get to my house. And why I'm currently contemplating a walk with the dog.