Static

There is noise - the rattle in my chest as I try to breathe, an occasional sniffle and frequent sigh. I slept poorly last night but napped well today. My laptop is completely full of data and I badly want to finish something so I can back crap up and delete it.

I talked to someone from Industry Giant today. We've played phone tag for six days now and when we finally spoke, she wanted to confirm the interview date. Given that I was the one who selected it, I happily said it worked well for me. Then I waited expectantly and she eventually told me she'd pass my information on to someone who would deal with travel arrangements. It would have been difficult for me to imagine a more pointless encounter with HR.

I read reviewer comments today and got stuck on the nitpicky ones. Those that - even when fixed - make absolutely no difference at all. Which means I don't mind making the changes, but I am bothered that people are asses and feel the need to point out random garbage.

It's like a shower. There are separate streams and drops of water, but after some threshold it's just noise and spray. And rather than feeling clean and refreshed after standing in it, I feel sad. And it's because of work and prospective jobs and the thought of moving and being sick and being lonely.

It's not that the last one is new - it isn't and has been a recurring theme of what's written here. But between the anti-depressants and the thought of avoiding any entanglements before moving (Hush - that's my story. It has nothing to do with the fact that I won't actually try to meet anyone.), it doesn't seem like that big a deal. But today it does. Lately it has. It hurts so I cried - those slow tears that sort of slip down my face and make me cry for longer because I feel so ridiculously pathetic - and then I got more stuffy and started to cough, so I stopped, washed my face and sternly demanded I knock it off as I faced myself in the mirror.

Friend came out for dinner because I wanted company. Then we stopped and got orange juice and cold medicines and Kleenex. I took some Nyquil an hour ago - I should sleep soon.

So it's basically all nonsense - nothing all that worth mentioning emerging from the background.