My parents have arrived, and it was good to see them. They're quite relaxed here at my house, which is wonderful.
The house was ready - clean, organized, pretty. I've escaped questions and comments on its condition so far.
My histograms are slowly but surely recovering from what I thought would be a fatal blow to the project. I'm happy, but waiting for the other shoe to drop.
I'm tired. Already. It might be quite a long weekend.
Oh, one detail for you. I mentioned to my folks that I'd been feeling a bit blah lately. Just headachy, tired, upset stomach.
"For nearly a month now." I complained easily. "I just rarely feel really good."
"If things were different," Mom sighed, "I'd be asking if it might be morning sickness."
"It's stress." I said, starting to wish I'd gone with alcohol over iced tea.
She nodded a bit sadly before smiling in my direction.
"Wait." Dad looked newly concerned as he focused on our conversation. Sometimes he gets bored and zones out. "You're pregnant?"
"No. It's stress."
We sat and looked at each other for a moment.
"OK, look." I finally said. "I'm not pregnant. I'm sure. Not possible. It's not likely to be possible in the near future. However I am relatively certain that I'll continue to be tense from work."
"You could take vitamins." Mom offered and I nodded in agreement.
"So if you ever get pregnant," She continued softly, "you'll be healthy."
It's not a battle I'll win. Regardless of how clean my house is, how well or poorly I do at work, my health, my yard - I know they wish I was married. They'd wait eagerly for news of another little one. It used to bother me a great deal that I might not provide that news. It still matters, but the distance has helped with this particular problem. If it happens, I won't be having a baby for them. That's progress, I think.
But for the next little while, when I don't feel well, it's stress.
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2006
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June
- Out of practice
- My thoughts on singing
- Beauty
- Bees, paws and prancing
- The State of My Manicure
- Resembling clarity
- And so it begins
- It's not that something's bad, it's that nothing's...
- So, so close
- Puppies and polar bears.
- Let's say I'm a polar bear.
- The more things change
- Um...
- Torn shingles
- The talk? It's over.
- Another weekend, another template change
- The histogram post
- Me too.
- Too much
- You get your grade at the end of the course.
- Gown and flowers and cake and guests and ...
- Bored? Yep, I thought so.
- In memory of snow
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June
8 comments:
It always comes back to the p-word I'm afraid. I don't know which is worse the look of hope when you start to date someone new or the dejected admittance they know they'll probably never have grandkids.
Grrr. I hate that. And it doesn't get better if you get married -- if anything, it's worse. Because now there's NO EXCUSE. Because, why else would you have got married if not to provide grandchildren for Them?
Wow! I can't believe your parents said that to you! I can't imagine what my reaction would be if my parents said something like that to me. Probably slack-jawed staring followed by lots of stammering and flabbergastedness.
my roommate and I get the whole, "when am I getting more grandkids" thing from our parents all the time.
I tell them to consider the alternative... I could be knocked up without a husband.
my father has recently gone on a kick where every time he sees me he reminds me that I can't have it all - meaning a family and a career. I think that's total bullshit (pardon my language). It makes me happy to know that there are other successful, intelligent women such as yourself out there who are fearlessly out to show the generation before us that we are superwomen. we can have whatever we want. if that means a family and children, well, we'll have it!
styleygeek stole my comment. May the women of our generation not be so insensitive when we get to be that age.
Oh it sounds familiar! My parents wish Dr R and I were married but its just not on the agenda at the moment. As for grandkids, well, nothing would the parents happier. Given the chemicals I work with, any kids would have gills and that is usually my answer!
Have a nice weekend...
I hope your weekend is going well, as least as well as can be expected :-)
I wanted to belated thank you all profusely for these comments. I didn't expect them, but I think they were rather important as I try to figure things out with my folks. I'm very glad you all said something - I smiled and nodded and felt all warm from the support and sympathy.
I know, Abbey. I really do.
Styleygeek-
The pressure if I were married would be overwhelming, yes. But they're worried, as Abbey mentioned, that I'll never find anyone to marry, so perhaps their relief over that would buy me a little time. Good to know it's not trivial for married women to deal with their folks either. :)
MplsJu-
That wasn't even the worst one for me! I'm used to it - can typically predict when the comments are coming. But I also tolerate them, so it's not as though I've been firm on it being upsetting. They just really want me to reproduce for some reason.
DRD-
It is hard to deal with outside expectations and figure out what you actually want. Having someone I love think I made some poor decisions is tough. I'm so sorry for you too. The hope is that it wall works out in the end, right?
Mouse-
I actually think my parents would soon be fine with my being a single parent. It's not ideal, but at least I'd have part of the family thing figured out. But yes, it's a matter of finding out what exactly I want, then getting it. Which is possible, and it's good to be reminded of that.
ScienceWoman-
It's a good point, and though I resist asking women if they're having children, I do think of the question. So eventually there's hope that instead of just not asking, it won't be an issue unless a woman wishes it to be one.
JustMe-
The luck worked - I had a nice time overall. :)
Propter Doc-
One of the benefits of being single is actually avoiding the, "Are you going to get married? How serious is he about you? Do we get to meet him soon?" questions. So I sympathize. :)
Repressed Librarian-
It absolutely went as well as could be expected. :)
Again, thank you. This was an unexpected show of support, but it made me think a bit more carefully about some issues, and I appreciated it greatly.
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