Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Post-doc positions: pros (and cons)


I seem to have crept away from dealing with work issues. I was going to do a different post, but it’s going to take awhile and I have priorities (Gilmore Girls is on tonight!). But I was reading Ms. PhD’s most recent post and I didn’t want to take up a lot of her space commenting. But I did have some thoughts.

As much as I enjoy reading her site (and I do - she's funny and brave and a lovely writer), I really wish I could disagree strongly with this discussion of being a post-doc. There are 2 reasons I can’t do that. 1. She’s been at it longer than I have so she probably knows more. And 2. She’s right. So what is there to say?

I can tell you that my post-doc experience so far has been overwhelmingly positive. Countless people would undoubtedly tell you that being doing some sort of post-doctoral work after graduating is not exactly the dream of every grad student. Because who in their right mind goes to grad school in the first place? And of those people, what kind of idiot can’t figure out that the research job sucks. Really bad. To the point where I’ve been curled up on my bathroom floor, listening to the shower run to mask the sounds of sobs because my life is so miserable. But I signed up for more of that – an extension of grad school that provides additional training in research and teaching.

I’ve mentioned before that I needed to gain some confidence. My graduate studies taught me that even the most brilliant and experienced people sometimes have no idea what they’re talking about. So you start to see people as fallible and real rather than bright and intimidating. And then something cool happens – like I met someone at a conference last year and had a question on his technique. In the course of a 5 minute conversation, I rocked. I knew papers, I knew where critical authors were from, I knew that some of his suggestions wouldn’t work because I tried them already. He offered me a job soon after our conversation, and it was the moment I knew I was ready to leave grad school. I knew stuff.

I’ve since decided I don’t know stuff, but I think everyone has good and bad days. Some battles you win – you’re knowledgeable and capable, experiments work, your hypothesis was right; and others you lose, lying moaning under a suffocating pile of papers you haven’t read, studies you weren’t aware of, equipment you broke, and data you can’t interpret. Experience gives me perspective. I’m less frustrated when I mentor students, I don’t have to leave in the middle of the day to go shopping because my Matlab script keeps giving me error messages. I'm getting better, but I’m still learning – trying to figure things out and learn fields that remain unfamiliar and baffling to me.

If you don’t want to be miserable, I think there are a couple of ways to do a post-doc that is beneficial to you and your institution of choice. Yes, people take advantage of you – they did in grad school and they will if you become a faculty member. For the hours that academics work, we’re not paid enough. The stress levels can be insane. The competition is daunting. But hopefully you’re doing something interesting that challenges you and allows you to see amazing places and work with brilliant people.

So how do you do this without ending up in a ball on your bathroom floor? For me, it was a matter of knowing what I wanted. I didn’t want to be a faculty member – man, that sounds like it sucks to me. I deeply respect people who do it – those I know and those I read of here online. But for me? I had a list of things I wanted to learn, some of them encompassing huge amounts of literature and experimental possibilities. I wanted to delve deeper into my thesis work, which was promising but inconclusive. I have hopes that it will find a home in applying some techniques I love to clinical practice. So I wanted to use the devices here, and take advantage of some amazing collaborative relationships, and hopefully do some profound research.

I also happen to work for some famous people in my neck of the woods, so we’re extraordinarily well funded. I had 3 post-doc offers. One was pretty low – I had to talk them up $5K to the NIH recommendation. The other was generous - $5K higher than the first after I worked them up to a reasonable level. But the one I took? $12K higher than the first one. The group is so active in grant awards that they are able to supplement all of the post-doctoral fellow salaries to make the offer extremely attractive. Benefits – got ‘em. And they’re great. There’s a strong history of post-docs getting grants they apply for here (and therefore becoming faculty) because of the infrastructure that’s already in place.

I have always felt very respected, yet coddled. They’re interested in my expertise, but eager to teach what they know. But this is the Mecca of post-docs in my field. There are a lot of us here, and we’re good at what we do. We move on to excellent things – faculty jobs near and far, industry, clinical positions. Working for people who are well-established – their awards are won, funding secure, CVs filled in – allows you to take credit for the work and ideas that may not have all originated with you. It gets you introduced to other important people in the field who have ideas and opportunities to offer. It ensures you get to travel, and I’m currently in the position of deciding whether I’d like to go to the pacific northwest or eastern coast of Italy in the spring. I’m submitting abstracts to both meetings, but crossing my fingers for Florence.

I think that your post-doc (or post-doc free!) future depends on what you want and what you lack. It’s competitive out there, and if I can spend a couple of years working with nice, successful people, I’m up for that. I hope that someday I look back on this experience and think I learned a lot there, met good people and did excellent work. Then I hope I visit the webpage to look at my own pictures of Italy rather than this one I found online and remember how it feels to be there – somewhere I never thought I’d go, doing something I wasn’t sure I was smart or talented enough to do.

Oh, but the best piece of advice comes from Ms. PhD, who says “One last piece of advice: don't do one if you can figure out a way to avoid it. If you must do one, make it quick, make it famous, and get out as fast as humanly possible.”

To which I can only add, interview at many, weed out any that make you feel funny or nervous, and pick the best one. Ask people you trust where they would go to learn more. Then stay focused, take advantage of as many people and opportunities as you possibly can, and build your knowledge and network. Then yes, get out. But while I'm here? I'm looking around and liking what I see. At least for now.

1 comment:

Ms.PhD said...

I gotta say, I love your optimism. I love that it sounds like you're at an amazingly good place- so far. I have to wonder where Mecca is, though???

Re: how long you've been a postdoc and your perspective on that, I thoroughly enjoyed my first year of postdoc. Everything was new and different and fun, and everyone was nice. I got involved in campus issues- like getting better benefits for postdocs who needed them. In general, it was just a huge improvement on grad school. My science went really well.

But after that, although my science was going really well, the cracks in my lab started to show. Same for my second postdoc- the first year was great, and now that I'm into the second, all the problems are very apparent.

Anyway I hope your situation is really as good as it seems. You sound very capable and aware, which will take you far. And not wanting to be a professor already takes a lot of the stress out of it.

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