Tuesday, August 18, 2009


"I need to call you back," I told a colleague, frowning down at Chienne as she whimpered at my feet. "Are you hurt?"

"Hurt?" he replied, sounding confused. "No."

"My dog," I snapped at him, annoyed that he was talking to me even as I sank to my knees and smoothed my hands gently over her back and up and down her legs. I tossed the phone to the table after hanging up and crooned softly to my pet, asking what had happened and how badly it hurt. Finding no suitable answer, I fretted as she moved slowly - but without a limp - to the corner and curled up on the floor. Wearing her most pathetic expression, she regarded me sadly until I came upstairs to shower and change into pajamas.

Deciding it would be best to just go to bed - despite it being just shy of 6PM - I winced when Chienne finally jumped on the bed, yelping when she did so. I arranged pillows so she'd be comfortable and closed my eyes, feeling my mind quiet and body relax. Some 90 minutes later, it was easy to ignore the ringing phone and hug the pillow tighter to my chest.

I blinked, feeling some stomach clench with dread when it rang again 2 minutes later.

I reclined once again after I spoke briefly to Mom. I'd known her last mammogram showed an area of concern. I'd known she'd gone back for a follow up exam. Yet I was still surprised to hear they wanted to do a biopsy tomorrow.

"It's probably nothing," she said and I agreed. "If it is something, they said it's very early."

"OK," I replied. "I'll say prayers." If you wouldn't mind doing the same, I'd appreciate the thought.


JaneB said...

Of course - for your Mum, for Chienne (is she feeling any better?), and for you too.

Amelie said...

Thinking of you and your mom. The not-knowing can be so hard. I hope it all comes back negative.

Amanda@Lady Scientist said...

Definitely. You and your mom and Chienne are in my prayers.

Anonymous said...

Hugs to you and your mom, pets to Chienne. And prayers for all three of you.

Jenn, PhD said...

You, your mom and Chienne are all in my thoughts and prayers. ((hugs))

Psych Post Doc said...

((Katie)) only good thoughts coming your way.

Psycgirl said...

Most definitely, I will add all three of you (((Katie)))

Inside the Philosophy Factory said...

Double good thoughts...

I'm just over a year past 'there's a lump we'd like to biopsy' -- and mine wasn't good news at the time. Now, I've got one boob and my hair has grown back. I just had a "normal" PET scan -- so things are good.

The point is that even if it isn't nothing -- it isn't horrible either. The surgery isn't terrible, chemo isn't that bad (with the right oncologist and good anti-nausea drugs) etc... the scary part is thinking about the chance of things being even worse.

Best of luck to your mom and dog!!

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