Thursday, January 10, 2008

More of the Same, with Puppy Perks

I continue to be bored. And sick - this cold refuses to depart and focuses on my head with impressive strength. Oh, and the people ignoring me thing? No real change there either.

"Shoot." I heard Boss say when I stepped into his outer office to greet Jill on her first day back from a medical leave.

"I missed you!" I said to her, turning my head away to protect her from some of my germs as we hugged. We talked for a few moments and she showed me an impressive scar from her heart surgery. Boss didn't emerge to join our conversation - he's actively avoiding me and my daily "Did you happen to read my paper yet?" questions.

"I'll get to it next." He promised later in the day. I had walked in with Marlie when she didn't understand an email. I was busy making a figure from an abstract I will send the Supreme Polar Bear (because I was bored and perhaps going overboard in effort will make me more memorable and harder to ignore), but I interpreted for her and, receiving a blank look in return, found a website, downloaded a form, opened her protocol, filled out the form and walked with her to Boss's office to have him sign it.

"I have a deadline that I had to meet today, but I will read your paper. I want to read it. And I will. Soon." He said when I walked in. I smiled and handed him the single sheet of paper in my hand while saying it was fine. I'd just keep bugging him until I received comments. (I hate that, by the way, but it's been nearly 3 weeks.)

"I do need you to sign this though." I handed him the paper and looked to Marlie to see if she'd explain the situation. She didn't and Boss focused on me since he struggles to understand her so I gave him a brief explanation of the problem and our solution, he signed off and we walked to the fax machine.

It isn't that I mind helping. I got stuck with all the paperwork and it took forever to find my way out upon beginning my post-doc. I don't employ the "I suffered so you shall suffer also" philosophy and want to make Marlie's life easier if I can. But I'm starting to bristle at the amount of time I'm spending on a project which doesn't involve of interest me. I like her and that will allow her a good deal of my time. But I need for her to latch on to more useful resources. I don't want to go to meetings so I can understand and re-explain concepts. I won't make time to attend entire training sessions when I'm not interested in learning the technique. So I'm stuck between feeling mildly guilty and mildly resentful. Which makes me feel more guilty. Ick.

Friend and I fought traffic together and joined Cousin for dinner. Then all was right with the world because there were snuggly, soft, squirming bundles of cuddles.

"Puppies!" I cried, immediately sitting on the floor. They're getting big enough that they can stretch up to nibble at my chin and ears while they give kisses I eagerly return. So I petted and called them pretty and sweet and wonderful. I kissed and nuzzled and let them chew on my hair. I love them ever so much.

I pried myself away to eat delicious reubens, but quickly returned to the floor afterwards. "Puppies!" I greeted them - for they had been locked in their foyer while we ate - "I missed you so much! Yes, I did! I missed you because you're such good puppies!"

Jay sighed at me - though he didn't scold, likely because he'd dropped a frozen ham on my head while I sat in front of the freezer playing with puppies (yes, seriously) - when I told him I'd cleaned up the accident and the puppies didn't mean to do it, so he didn't need to yell at them. And I looked over at Cousin - after she'd removed the corned beef from Little Cousin's sandwich but before she'd finished her own meal - and she sighed as Little Cousin screamed with some small complaint from the other room.

"She's so moody lately." Cousin said of her daughter. "And work is busy and there's animals everywhere." She shook her head. "It's not the house of fucking happiness."

We laughed and I worry - she shouldn't be so stressed. But once we finished the ice cream cake (and sang happy birthday to Little Cousin, whose actual day isn't until March. She just likes the song.) and I said good-bye to the precious puppies and my lovely family members, I felt the weight of stress again.

"Have to get home so I can get no email from the people who are ignoring me." I told Friend. And so I did.

2 comments:

Miss Cee said...

Heh - your greeting of the puppies makes me think of the way I greet to and talk to the kittens. "Hello kitties! Have you had a nice day? Oh, what good kittens you are!" Lots of exclamation marks and a very high pitched voice :-)

JustMe said...

sorry you are still bored and sick! feeling better?

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