Thursday, October 05, 2006

His Sprout-ness

“So I heard you got a cat.”

I smiled when I heard Brother’s voice. It surprises me still – that he’s an adult, his deep voice matching the maturity of some of his thoughts. His grace under pressure, the kindness with which he treats the elderly people he serves at work. How he’s married. Has a child. The kid grew up at some point. I wonder how I missed it.

“Yes. I do have a cat. It was sort of an accident though.” So I told him the story, listened to him laugh at the right parts, express understanding at others.

“Mom called me today.” He noted after I was done. “Asked about Little One and told me you had another child as well.”

I closed my eyes briefly at that. I wished my own little one was playing and babbling in the background as we talked. That I could achieve what the rest of the family seemed to easily accomplish. Settle on someone to love – a man who would love me in return. Ease into moderate professional success that was secondary to family life. Laugh and argue and share stories. Watch cartoons with my children and push them on the swing set my parents purchased at dramatic savings. Teach them to pet Sprout gently and not to tug on Chienne’s ears. Maybe it’s not meant to be. I try not to dwell on it, but there are moments where it’s a startling pain.

“Would you like a cat?” I asked. “Little One likes kitties.”

“We’re good.” He said quickly. “Between the dog that won’t quit fetching stuff (and she really will chase a ball for hours on end. It's impressive.) and Little One, I don’t think we need another creature right now. Is he a nice cat? How old?”

“He is a nice cat. About 5 months old and very friendly. Well, not with Chienne – she just wants to chase him and he just wants to hiss at her. But he’s a sweet animal – very loving.”

“How do you litter train them?”

“Don’t know. He just knew. He had a family too – I really thought they’d ask for his return. But it didn’t happen. So now he’s mine.”

I talked to the Little One – she got a pumpkin bag at school and is quite fond of this new word. I thought it was "pumpkin" she was saying, but was grateful for Brother’s confirmation in the background. “Are you telling Aunt Katie about your pumpkin?” It helped me out.

Then, as her parents both do, she said, “Love you.” and went to hang up the phone before Brother said, “Wait! I wasn’t done!” So we talked for a few more minutes – work is going well for him, one event he planned was particularly successful, Little One and Brother’s Wife are getting over colds and doing well now.

I told Mom – via email – that I had a cat just last night. Asked that she not be critical because I didn’t mean to get a cat. It just sort of happened. And I didn’t feel like dealing with her and Dad telling me all the reasons another pet was a bad idea.

Then I sent her email at work this morning, thanking her for being so supportive in her original response to my news. She’s a good mom. I love her a great deal. It was likely silly to put off telling her for so long, worrying about her opinion.

So I went down to play with and pet the Sprout. He is a sweet cat, and very pretty besides. After some focused attention, I opened the door, Chinne got up from her sprawl on the floor, and sat politely while I stood guard at the door between them. She set one paw over my leg while Sprout was on the bed, sniffed at his scratching toy. He came over and despite my gentle warnings to play nice, swatted at her paw so she’d remove it from his room. Then he tried to sneak past her as she blocked the exit to his room.

She didn’t lunge – sat quietly and let me scratch her neck, moved her nose closer to him to smell.

And he looked up at her, took one step closer, and swatted her nose with his claws.

At which point I gasped with indignation and scolded him. So he scampered to his corner, put his ears back and glared at me. So I’ll take advice here, but my first loyalty is to the dog. That cat made an unprovoked attack! He’s certainly entitled to protect his room, but I also see her point in guarding her hallway. I’m not sure what to do here – she’s getting better as he’s getting worse. And the likelihood of her playing some passive-aggressive game with him is pretty high – I just haven’t seen evidence of it yet.

It – like so many other things – is a freaking process. Takes time. Plus, Mom’s not going to tell Dad about the cat yet. She has to work up her nerve to share the news and explain that he can’t offer negative opinions. So… this too shall pass. I guess. In the meantime, I guess the lesson is that Sprout doesn't screw around. Perhaps he's irritable lately too.

5 comments:

kdaisy said...

It's okay to discipline the cat, even if he does hiss and pout in response. Doesn't seem like you (or Chienne) were out of line at all. It sounds to me like you're doing a great job and being ever so much more patient than I would be.

My one and only experience was introducing my roommate's cats to my kitty. It seemed like they were going to hate each other forever, then all of a sudden they just called a truce (but the 3 of them were never BFFs). Be patient. Yes, still. =) Sprout's quite a young'un yet, maybe he's testing his boundaries, in which case you and Chienne are doing a good job drawing the line.

*hugs*

TitleTroubles said...

Sounds like Sprout's just testing Chienne to see what he can get away with. But if it was just a quiet stroll up to her, followed but a silent nose smack, not so worrisome. A full blown, fur standing on end, hissing attack would be different. This sounds like he's just trying to show her who's in charge (and yes, I mean he is. Because in the end, the cat is always in charge.) So, if he's just doing a nose smack without any other aggressive behavior, I'd try just a gentle but firm no, maybe with a tap on the nose. Um, and clip his claws. Or invite me over for dinner this weekend and I'll clip them again for you. ;)

But, yes, process, time, yada yada--one of those things you seem to so hate. Sorry.

My dad thinks I only have one cat. Because mom decided it's better if he never knows. But admittedly, it's much easier to disguise four cats as one than one cat as none. Cat? What cat?

(BTW--isn't Random Cat Blogging fun?)

negativecapability said...

If there was no hissing or hair-raising, and it didn't look like he intentionally clawed C., then he might have been trying to play. Which is also a way of declaring who's in charge, of course. It sounds like they're actually going to end up getting along.

Of course, dogs don't take random play attacks like other cats do, so it's good that you told him no. He'll figure it out.

Terminal Degree said...

Sprout is adorable!

You might want to trim his claws if he keeps attacking Chienne. This will also help to save your furniture (and your own skin).

Info here:
http://www.catscratching.com/htmls/article.htm
One warning: I did trim too close to the quick once and made my kitty's paw bleed. I felt so guilty. The picture on the link above should help you avoid that.

I bought "Cats for Dummies" when I first got my little guy. It was actually quite useful.

Sprout will figure out the "no fighting" thing eventually. If you need to reinforce this, you can grab him by the scruff of his neck and "pin" him down for a few seconds while saying "no!" (It's what mama cats do to scold their kittens.)

My cat looks like a much bigger version of Sprout. He's spent a lot of the day on my lap, purring. :)

The Contessa said...

Hey there - I think that you are doing a good job. I use a water gun when my boys get too out of hand. That only works on the cat though as most dogs like water and will think its a game.

At some point soon, I would just open the door and let them start to fend for themselves without your control. This will be tough as you will be worried and want to control it ( I know I do) but my parents had 8 cats and two german shepherds growing up and thats how they did it. I agree that Sprout is a baby and was simply testing Chienne and letting her know that she may be top dog but he's alpha Cat.

Its gonna take time. But it will work itself out.

You should buy him a scratching post once you figure out if he's a verital or horizontal scratcher and do it soon and start showing him how to use it by taking his front paws and rubbing them against it. they make them with catnip which is always incentive ( except mine chew on it! ).

Post a Comment