Small diversion

Still working on the next post. It the transition from one stage into another, but it’s stubbornly refusing to flow. So with a thought to saying “then some stuff happened, and I talked to some people and thought some things, so let’s continue,” I’m giving myself until tonight to pull it together. Because I really would like to get it clear in my mind.

Oh, and about that promise that I'd finish the series soon? Backsies! I really don't know how long this is going to take. So I'll just trust that if it doesn't appeal, you'll skip along to something else.

I missed not pressing the publish button last night, so I thought I’d do one more morning post since material arrived quite nicely.

I woke up early – far too early – and couldn’t get back to sleep. I thought about beating the traffic and getting to work before 6:30, but the plan was strangely unappealing. So I went to email and blogs I missed last night, but still had some extra time. Pleased with my opportunity to laze around, I turned on the news and found a book. The volume was low – background noise, really – and I turned to see an older man promising to speak of prom fashions as he reviewed the “get-up they wore to the Grammys.”

Well, now I’m intrigued. So I creased the spine of the book I’ve already read several times, perched it on back of the couch to hold my place, and rolled over so I could catch every moment.

Now I was lost in giggles through most of this, so my interpretation of the segment may be off. But first, the correspondent hardly appeared the fashion type. Likely in his 50s or older, he was bald, but with a fringe of gray around the edges of his former hairline. He looked really happy to be doing this review of formal wear, so I’m assuming the news people knew it would be funny and applaud them for thinking of it.

So the clips of red carpet footage start racing across the screen – people were really on for mere seconds. So he couldn’t say very much, in the slow Southern drawl, before the focus of his attention would disappear in a jarring transition to another celebrity.

He started by talking about prom trends, and it seemed pretty scripted and normal. But when the clips started, it was something like the bit of joy that follows.

“There’s Fiona Apple. She’s wearing some kind of hippie jewelry, and – Oh! There’s Garth Brooks, and black on black on black!" What’s the third black? I didn’t get it, but there was no time for him to elaborate, because

"Well, I don’t know who that girl is. Pretty though. Skirt’s a little short.” Someone in a long gold dress appears before he can finish his analysis.

“She’s showing a lot of skin in that dress, got a thing in the back that makes it look like there’s nothing there!" A cleavage shot appears – you can barely make out some woman’s chin.

"And again, there’s a lot of skin." He says. Still more cleavage - who edited this thing?!

"Well, that’s just a little trashy.”

So at this point, I’m trying to control my laughter enough to enjoy the rest of it.

“Ah, that’s – “ but she was off the screen in seconds, before he could remember her name. “And this…young man…is wearing a rather large necklace.”

Then this woman appeared in this wisp of a gown, and I almost clapped with glee in anticipation of what he’d say.

“Well, who would let their daughter wear that?” He said, rather philosophically, I thought. And I loved it – thought it was incredibly funny and sweet.

There was a cut back to the studio, and he’s frowning at his little monitor – where these celebrities appeared one right after the other – and he looks up and says, “Everybody’s showing so much skin.” Then remembers to offer a smile.

I think I’m his new biggest fan.