I walked the dog this morning, having pulled on mismatched gloves and a university sweatshirt to wander through the mild morning. I glanced at the neighbor's driveway and was relieved when I felt my lips curve, appreciating that the was an arrow pointing to the end of the sidewalk rainbow chalked on the sidewalk. And there was a pot of gold being directed to its proper spot by said arrow.
It's beginning to thaw and I'm beginning to feel better under the increased dose of anti-depressant. I was running late this morning, but I made it to work. I attended meetings and completed tasks and did not argue or whine or otherwise flip out.
Well. Until I did flip out. To the point where Adam jogged across the floor to close my door and shush me from the yelling about idiots that I was doing into the phone.
"I'm sorry," I said later. "I know I'm supposed to control myself and I know I'm supposed to be steady and not emotional but I hate that guy."
So it was a busy day but I grinned when the guy in the office next door dropped off a saw. "So you have a weapon," he offered when I gave him a quizzical glance.
"May I use it on myself?" I asked and he paused, turning to close the door behind me and reached to hold my hand while giving me some affectionate advice. And another colleague passed me in the hall, squeezing my shoulder and grinning. "Deep breaths," he advised and winked before walking away.
Not Anatomically Optimized
I haven't been carrying my camera lately so I had to draw the creature that charms me around the block. He looks silly and lovingly drawn and I pause to make sure I don't step on him as we walk by that section of sidewalk.
"He," I told Chienne (who was ignoring me to sniff at residual snow banks), "is not anatomically optimized for mobility." And I grinned at the thought of how his loopy legs barely touched this body at the tiniest of points before reaching toward the ground on very round feet.
Still I appreciate the effort. And the immobile creature cheered me even as I hurried home to throw on clothes and speed to work, still arriving late to our group meeting.
Since my brain appears to be not optimized for mood regulation, I wanted to thank you for your comments and encouragement and assorted good wishes. It's very kind of you.