Diapers

I Hurt Everywhere.

There are certain aspects of life that simply work better in theory than in reality. When I picture coming home to hugs and kisses and games of peek-a-boo, it's delightful. I miss my nieces terribly sometimes and I hate that they don't know me as well as they should. Yet, upon arrival, it's somehow being awakened when Little One blows whistles in my ear before 7AM. It's temper tantrums and watching movies over and over again. It's carrying Smallest One who is just heavy enough to make my arms and back ache. It's exhausting and a little stressful and I'm generally ready to go home before it's actually time to leave.

It was time to go early this morning. I called down the steps as a temporary farewell to His Sproutness. I'm not worried about him, having been awakened at 4:30 this morning by the opening of every window in the house. When I mmphed at Dad, he said that Sprout wanted to sit in a window and since he wasn't sure which one was best, he was opening all of them. I rolled over and tried to rest for a few more minutes. So while I keep glancing around the house for the stripey cat now that I've arrived home, I know he's OK.

In more bittersweet news, it turns out that pushing a tire swing for about an hour is nowhere near as fun as swinging. My shoulders and back continue to ache from pulling the tire over my head and letting it swing toward the fence while Little One squealed with delight. Even as I sweated and my muscles twinged with pain, I continued to stand in the hot sunshine and shoved the tire to and fro. We talked about other kids in day care and what cartoons she liked. She told me about playing games at a party and how someone cried when he lost. It was lovely. But it hurt.

Likewise, I ended up building the whole flipping diaper cake (we give them as baby shower gifts) while Mom visited with the neighbor who'd arrived uninvited. She made the baby blanket to go on the platter at the base, but I rolled most of the diapers and secured them with rubber bands. Who tied the ribbons around each layer? Who secured thinner ribbon to each little toy so it could hang from the bottle the defined the top tier? Who tied bows and curled ribbon and threw away trash? Me. And it's not that I mind making diaper cakes - it's just time consuming. And when dinner preparations began, before I escaped outside with Little One, everything was too loud and busy and messy. And Mom started talking about how I'd be home all the time after I moved so I should get used to how things were and I started feeling panicked and trapped.

"Doing OK, Kate?" Brother asked on his way to the refrigerator and I stared up at him until he grinned at my expression.

"If your mother," I said deliberately, "thinks I'm coming home all the time to cook and clean and run endless errands and making freaking diaper cakes, she's out of her ever-loving mind." He glanced over his shoulder at Mom while I continued to wipe down the counters. He patted my shoulder before reaching for another beer. "You people are going to drive me to drink too," I muttered.

It's somehow rarely as good in practice - a visit home, that is - as it seems in theory. Perhaps, I comforted myself, when I live closer, they can come see me more often. Or the durations of my stays can be shorter because the drive isn't so dreadfully long.

Regardless, I've given the last kisses and cuddles and waved to Little One last night and Mom and Dad this morning. The latter will arrive relatively soon to help prepare my house to go on the market. I still don't know details of the relocation package - I'm sure I'll let you know when I get more information. I've paid bills and am excited about going paperless for my credit card statements. Chienne and I are both sleepy - I had to wake her up to walk out to the mailbox with me. But it's good to be home. And I did - despite a few snags - have a nice weekend with my family.

(Oh, and the diaper title - because that wasn't clear. Refers to how nifty I think the gift is, despite the fact that it's constructed of items designed to hold human waste at some point. There are some things you just shouldn't think about too carefully. Like visits home, apparently.)