Sunrise, Sunset

I sat on the floor to rub Mom’s calves when they arrived on Sunday evening. As I was easing her muscles, I was shocked at how different her legs feel when compared to mine. Though I’m hardly in the best of shape, there are firm muscles that resist pressure when I get massages. Though Mom has lost a lot of weight and been through months of physical therapy, the muscles in her calves felt small and delicate to me. She’s getting older - the texture of her skin, the way she pauses before beginning to walk, the amount she sleeps.

I wondered today as I walked past the baseball field on the way to meeting where all the time had gone. It seems like those boys were just playing, but I realized the season has been over for months. Now instead of heavy humidity, there’s brisk cold. The baseball field stands wait neatly for months to pass again until crowds return. I might not be here to see it again, I realized. My time here feels like it’s drawing to a close and while I don’t regret that, I am mildly surprised that such a thing could be true.

“That cat is huge.” I commented to Mom when she cuddled Sprout on the loveseat. He stretched from her neck past her waist and I blinked. Even I rarely hold him and didn’t realize how large he’d grown. Days just sort of slip by, each one not that much different than the last. Then I feel like I actually look at what’s in front of me and am shocked by what I see.

“Didn’t your parents spend last Thanksgiving with Oldest Cousin?” I asked Cousin when I saw her.

“I think they were home.” She replied, but looked uncertain. “Did you go home?”

“Of course.” I said. “I sometimes miss Easter, but never Thanksgiving. I kind of hate Thanksgiving though. But I don’t remember if I spent it alone with my parents or if we were with Aunt and Uncle.”

She shrugged and I suddenly brightened. “I can look at my blog.” I said and she smiled at me. (We were at Aunt and Uncle’s house. I’m glad I wrote that down.)

So in an attempt to have some record of what happened on this visit, I will note that Dad spent several moments on my roof yesterday replacing a shingle. We also removed two broken slats in my fence and replaced them. He fixed the drip in my faucet, reporting that he simply took it apart and put it back together.

“Maybe the ring folded over on itself.” He mused. “Or something wasn’t on right. But I apparently fixed it.” He continues to walk down the hall to peer at the sink though.

He’s very sweet, my dad, but he can drive me crazy. Making faces at my coffee beans - ground fresh each morning - he said he preferred Folgers. I would have dumped it on him, but he said it was delicious coffee this morning after I went to purchase a small, red plastic tub of the stuff. He also watches Fox News which nearly makes me twitchy even as I try to tune it out. And to hear him agree when my mouth hangs open with indignation is a bit tough to stomach.

Mom is doing much better than I expected. She’s sleepy, but hasn’t been sick at all. It’s odd to have her around and not doing chores, but she’s been relaxed and mellow. The blood clots in her legs have disappeared, which is wonderful news, and she plans to return to work next week. She’ll start with a few hours a day and will miss the television schedule she’s come to enjoy (with naptime in the middle of the day - I apparently come by that habit honestly, though it took a lot of physical problems to drive her to it). Sprout and Chienne both enjoy the extra attention and I’m learning to cope with the noise and activity. It’s harder for me to handle the demands for a warmer house - I love being cold - but I shall endure for the sake of their comfort. It's mostly lovely to have them around.

The book is still coming along very well. Work is going less easily and I’m battling mightily with one project I thought would be nothing but smooth. I do think the medication is helping and I finally picked up my new prescription today. So I can take one stronger pill instead of two weaker ones. I feel more stable. There are still sucky moments, but it all feels more tolerable. My parents haven’t decided when they’re leaving, but we’re doing just fine. There’s room for each of us and though we’re short one television (I only have two. My parents have 5 - basement, living room and one in all three bedrooms.), I have my computer. We ordered pizza this evening and sat in the living room to talk about our days (I went to work, Mom and Dad were here at my house. My stories were better.) and Mom huddled into me for warmth. She’s like a little ice cube.

But now that I’ve turned on the heat and bought grocery store coffee, we should be all set. I’ll let you know if that changes.