I walked with Chienne this morning, shivering against the cold and raising my face, eyes closed, to the sunshine, blinking them open to gaze at the bright blue sky. Most of the leaves have fallen from the trees, save those that are located in areas protected from the wind.
I grinned when I remembered a line from The Big Bang Theory (I love that show more than I can articulate) about how Sheldon was colon capital D (:D).
I feel rather colon capital D today.
Life is going well. I am sleeping on schedule again. I feel better - not so headachy and fatigued. I like the cold - shivering happily and pulling out my favorite sweaters and starting fires that crackle, both cheerful and soothing, in my living room. (I did close the flue when I meant to open it and ended up getting a headache from the gas buildup. That was less than perfect.)
Projects at work are coming together and I feel this absurd sense of accomplishment when someone appreciates that effort and planning that went into one (or more) of my current tasks. There are more projects to come, of course, but one of them is going to be far less work than I'd originally anticipated. I suppose I'm feeling capable - I've been in the position long enough to trust my decisions and know that I can struggle through a couple of days efficiently and see daylight again.
Personally, things are happening. If I'm being honest, I'll likely write something at some point, but I'm hesitant to analyze it to death right now. I remind myself that I love my life - my job, my family (Brother may have found a job! So proud of him!), my house and pets and friends and colleagues. The romantic element is important - and I am hopeful that I can overcome some of my chronic neuroses that prevented me from having someone special in my life.
It's just that I hesitate to assign that much importance to it, lest I fail once again and lessen my overall happiness with my situation. But now I'm starting to analyze it to death so I'm stopping. My plan is to relax. Enjoy the moment and let myself react to how I feel, not based on how I might feel if I grow infatuated and he grows distant or, I don't know, if he secretly believes he's a warewolf. Or hates dogs. Loves his pet snake or spider or giant bird. Or lizard - I don't like lizards either.
But I'm dating. And working and sleeping and enjoying my life.