Wednesday, December 09, 2009

Thought Bubbles

Man1: "I didn't bring that."
Katie: [long pause which includes an expression which indicates I am shocked and frustrated] What, then, did you bring?
Unspoken thought: Dude. We exchanged fourteen emails this weekend coordinating this. You were irritating as hell. 14 times. And then you didn't do what you said you'd do! Do you not read English? Do you enjoy wasting time? Or are you an entirely useless individual?!
Unspoken thought after episode completion: Entirely Useless Individual.

Man2: You're a star.
Katie: Oh. You're welcome. No problem.
Unspoken thought: Had I know someone was going to murmur a complement with an English accent into my ear, I would have done something far nicer than going to fetch water for tea.

Woman1: It was awful.
Katie: Technical difficulties happen. Don't worry about it - we'll do better next time.
Unspoken thought: When you're late to begin a meeting, it gives you and any attendee very little time to adjust and work around said problems. Show up on time or stop complaining when your meetings go to hell. Because I'm tired of commiserating over problems you could have avoided.

Woman2: It's not possible to put all of those ideas on paper.
Katie: [Looks at example of the exact activity from another member of the team] I don't understand.
Woman2: It can't be done.
Katie: But Best did it. Right here. [Tap monitor.] I sent it to you so you could follow his example.
Unspoken thought: I understand you're burned out. I am hugely sympathetic that you may be struggling with a mood disorder. But when I ask you to capture knowledge in a presentation - something that our group does nearly constantly - I expect that to happen. It is not impossible. Saying it is makes no sense at all.

Man3: So you'll start in London, head to Germany then France.
Katie: Yes! [Begins to read off schedule.]
Man3: But those locations in England aren't that close together.
Unspoken thought: How the hell big is England? And aren't there trains?
Man3: I suppose you could get a car.
Unspoken thought: And drive on the other side of the road? No. I think not.
Man3: Plus, you could spend the weekend in Paris.
Katie: One weekend in London. One in Paris. Well, maybe 2 weekends in London - I'm completely infatuated with London.
Man3: Are you traveling alone?
Katie: I'm meeting people in various cities but I won't have the same buddy from beginning to end.
Unspoken thought: Thank goodness - people are irritating me lately.


JaneB said...

Oooh, Oooh, if you're going to be anywhere near my part of England, I'd love to meet up! And yes, there are trains to just about anywhere - you can get from one end of the country to another within a day, even on the most awkward route.

Anonymous said...

Which cities here in England are you visiting?

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