"Oh, no," I murmured, interrupting Chienne's joyful greetings by dropping to my knees before her. "It's worse, isn't it?"
I peered at her right eye much as I did this morning. Then I was concerned because it looked cloudy. In my spare moments, I fretted over it during the day. But my desire to check on my favorite creature in the world warred with pressure to get more done. So I left work as it neared 9PM and, some 12 hours after I left her, realized her eye health had gone in the wrong direction.
"We used to be best friends," I told Joe while we worked extra hours yesterday. "Now we rarely take walks - maybe once a weekend - and I go home to deal with email and work I didn't finish then I sleep. No walks, not much playing. She just curls up beside me in bed and across the room in her chair when I work."
"She's an abandoned child," he teased me and I smiled sadly. Seeing the cloud of guilt surround me, he patted my knee reassuringly. "She's fine," he said firmly. And I nodded.
But she's not fine. Her eye is sick. And I don't really have time to help her until tomorrow afternoon.
I apologized profusely, stroking her head while soaking her eye with a wet cloth as Friend gently instructed me to do when I typed a frantic message to her. Chienne promptly became pitiful, enjoying the extra attention since she normally gets so little.
I feel terrible, ridden with guilt and remorse. So I'll call the vet first thing tomorrow - responsibilities be damned - and see when she can go in.
At which point I can start worrying over who is doing this critical tasks that I had been assigned for tomorrow. So while it doesn't really bother me to wear satin panties - not out of the desire to entice or impress but because nothing else is clean - and I'm OK with the general clutter that exists around me, this particular neglect has me positively sick of myself.
I'll update you on the poor, poor girl tomorrow. For now, she's resting at the foot of the bed amidst all my covers. Because she deserves them and, in other areas, I've clearly let her down.