Boundaries

“We can’t finish today,” one man of the three who worked on my fence told me at 2:00 last Friday afternoon. “We’ll leave the supplies and be back on Tuesday.”

“Oh,” I said, disappointed that I had been told it’d be finished on Friday and would now have to wait longer. I shrugged and told my parents that it was fine – perhaps the cement around the posts needed to dry. Maybe they had plans for the long weekend. So I watched them stack slats in my yard and sighed as they drove away.

“We need help,” an email noted soon after I started this job. “We have a customer with grave concerns about our product and require upper level technical assistance to sell more products to this customer.”

“Great,” I replied happily. “I’d be happy to have a phone call and see what we can figure out.” And then there was silence on the matter for upwards of one month.

“Wait,” I said when the representative called me again. “Remind me of the problem, please.” I listened while he talked about buying teams and certain opinions and basically spent a lot of time giving very little information. It’s not uncommon for the salespeople with whom I speak – a tiny bit of information is imparted with much fanfare – but I sigh over it nonetheless.

What makes me odd (or one of the things, anyway) in this blogging community is that I now do business. I take meetings with sales and marketing, pricing and production. Given that I’ve taken nary a single business, marketing, sales or pricing course, my opinions are often non-ideal. But, I comfort myself, they’re based on science and that expertise is why I was hired.

But back to my story.

So I had a bit of information about what the problem might be, and rather thought I wasn’t the right person to address it. “So you’ll come visit us. Tommorrow.” Salesguy insisted and I raised my eyebrows.

“No,” I said gently. “I’ll talk to Adam, but this week is bad for me.”

“But we need you here. We need help on this.”

I like to be needed and enjoy helping, so I went to Adam to ask. He was shaking his head before I finished. “No,” he finally said, “you’re not going. It’s not that important, you don’t have the right skill set and experience to handle these high pressure sales meetings and I’m now throwing you to the wolves so they can blame you if the customer picks someone else.”

“Oh,” I said, blinking. “They want to blame me?”

He shrugged. “Not necessarily, but it does happen. They see a sale going south and call in people in some desperate attempt to save it. For some high priority situations, someone from the group will go. But sitting through those meetings when we’ve already lost? That’s hard. And I don’t want to put you in that situation. Quite yet,” he added with a wink and I grinned at him.

I therefore told Salesguy I wouldn’t be coming. “I’m fairly new and don’t think I’m who you want there. Plus, you seem to want someone to show them apples and I really know oranges. So we could have a phone call and then discuss whether or not you require a visit.” There was then silence for several days. When he called to tell me again how important and urgent the matter, I repeated that I could talk oranges on Monday or Tuesday. Thursday was bad because I was out of town. He said I should visit on Monday. I declined and offered to talk on the phone on Tuesday. Then there was nothing.

I got email on Thursday informing me of a call to discuss apples and oranges at noon. So I huffed and puffed and crossed my arms. I was out of town! Taking meetings and touring labs and making notes!

But I made a mistake – I said I’d do it. I left meetings to take a call for over an hour, finally cutting off the random questions I didn’t need to answer so I could head back to more relevant people.

Adam shook his head at me when I told him. “What?” I asked, confused. “What was I supposed to say?”

“No,” he said simply and continued to stare at me when my mouth dropped open.

“But they told me they needed me!” I protested, trotting after him when he began to walk again. “They said it was important! And urgent!”

“They always say that,” he offered and I frowned for a moment.

“So I’m supposed to say no?” I confirmed. “Won’t that make them unhappy?” He shrugged and I nodded slowly, trying to make sense of it. With too many demands on my time, I do need to sort them and decide what I can actually do. I’m used to jumping when people tell me to though. I like being obedient and accommodating! I love answering questions and promptly replying to email. But I’m getting buried under people eager to take advantage of said tendencies.

“Hi,” I said this morning when I called the project supervisor. “Nobody’s here to finish my fence. When are they coming?” I listened when he said they should have finished on Friday, corrected him by saying they’d only put in posts and needed to fill in all gaps and continued to call every hour, insistently inquiring after when they’d arrive to complete the boundary to keep Chienne in her yard.

After I hung up the second time, my cell phone rang. I answered and scowled when I heard Salesguy’s voice. “Wait,” I interrupted his lengthy spiel of how important and urgent his message was. “What’s the issue?” I rolled my eyes when he began another monologue, interrupted with a bit more impatience in my voice and asked again for the specific question. “I don’t see why,” I finally replied. He said I needed to find out for sure and I didn’t reply. I waited in silence for him to rephrase in a more polite manner.

“Would you be able to check on that?” he finally restated and I said I’d try to find the time. I did find out and called back to relay the message. But I didn’t thank him before he ended the call – I’ve decided these tiny power plays are going to be part of how I establish my position. So while I like being nice and charming, I don’t particularly mind drawing lines. Part of that is being demanding then understanding when people are disappointed in my response (or lack thereof).

“You do need that piece you asked me about,” I offered to Salesguy’s machine several hours later. “It’s a technical issue, but it is necessary. That should answer your last question, so good luck wrapping up the sale.”

I nodded with satisfaction when – after a day of phone calls – the fence guys appeared around 3:30. It’s possible to get what I want. The caveat is that I sometimes have to demand it.

[I should also note that when I went out to admire my fence and let Chienne run around, two sets of neighbors wandered over to say hello. The second came equipped with a puppy who was promptly invited in to play with Chienne in her new yard. Much fun was had by all. And I'm happy - it's a wonderful, friendly place and I've yet to meet someone who didn't tell me to call if I needed anything or wanted to hang out. So yay for my new home!]