Trudging along – The Plan: Month 4

First, The Plan would like to introduce a couple of new friends. Lucy and The Contessa have introduced their own versions and I'm eager to see how they go. While I can't say I feel the intense affection I once did for The Plan, I have a certain respect and lingering awareness of it that I do think is helpful. Some of these updates, though, make me wince.

Problem 1. Heath
Nothing. Just the morning walks that are taking off some of that weight I put on at Christmas. I fit in all my new clothes (that are 2 sizes smaller than last year!), but am otherwise not impressed.

Oh, and tonight I shall have caramel pie. Because I need and deserve it.

I am returning to my doctor for a follow-up visit next week, more because I don't want to stop taking Celexa yet than out of any great concern. Dr. Counselor and I continue to make mild progress. The focus that's required to make great strides here just isn't coming to me.

The new goal - in light of my consistent failure here - is yogurt sometime during the day. If I don't want it in the morning, I'll bring it to work. If I don't eat at work, I'll take it home. I will not sleep without eating yogurt at some point in a day. This is my solemn vow. We'll go from there next month.

Problem 2. God
I met with my new pastor this morning and I adore her more than I can adequately express in a Plan update. Expect a full post later. She had some ideas on how I could reconnect with God on a personal level and suggested a Sunday School class for me that starts this Sunday. There aren't Bible Studies right now, but she has some ideas of some to set up.

I'd also like to read and listen to some of the books I've been collecting. I'm not sure why I'm dragging my feet here - it's frustrating.

Problem 3. Professional
The Plan has made great strides here more than elsewhere.
Project M – Funding (all $8K of it) was acquired for the pilot phase! I got an email from Dr. Icing that simply stated "Yahoo!" Which pretty much sums up how I feel about this one.
Project X – No progress. I don't think about it unless forced to do so.
Project P – Stalled again. It's one step forward and two steps back here, which is why I hesitate to devote more time to it. Doing reading and preparing my talk remain on my list of things to do.
Project F – Third revisions are in on the last thesis paper. Proofs are corrected for the other.
Project H – I'm dismayed to find that I've been calling little H Project X, which is not true. Phooey. Regardless, there's a great deal more work to do on this, though I still have to finish up what I did last weekend. I should do that tonight, along with some reading.
Project B – Abstract was submitted and it's off my desk. I don't plan to ask for it back.
Project A – Still going well, actually. It takes a good deal of time, but that's OK. I don't mind boring work to some extent.
Project C - A gift from Carrie, but I expect to do more work with it at some point. For now, it's not on my desk though.

Problem 4: Social
I'll count Sunday School here too because it's not sounding super-appealing for some reason. Which sounds like a job for The Plan! Provide motivation for something I should, yet don't want to, do!

Dave maxed out my social tendencies for a whole month, I think. Friend and I hang out quite a bit, though she might be abandoning me here shortly. Something about requiring a job that pays her. (I'm actually very concerned about this possibility for selfish reasons. I've grown used to having someone who can listen to me whine about my blog and how I rarely go to work for a full day. It will be a profound loss if she leaves, though I can sort of understand the need to pay for wireless internet and a cable modem if not rent and food.)

Oh, and Dawn is starting soon. I should take her to lunch, though it makes my stomach hurt that they replaced Winnie.

Problem 5. Family
Christmas was really good. I enjoyed being there and was semi-ready to come back south. We continue to talk more frequently and I send email nearly every night (when I don't forget). My parents are also arriving next Thursday for my birthday. I'm looking forward to seeing them, though I feel vaguely guilty that they feel obligated to make the trip since there isn't a man in my life ready to shower me with gifts and attention on my birthday. But I wish there was a man in my life to do those things too, actually.

Problem 6. Selfish
I am. It's sad. I can't find time to fit in tutoring, so I canceled it this week. There was also the break for the holidays, so I haven't seen them lately. It's shameful to end on such a note, so I will endeavor to keep those afternoons free of work so I can happily focus on my young friends.

I get a free audio-subscription to the New York Times as part of my new Gold membership plan at Audible (I love audible.) It helps keep me informed of world events, which is depressing but important.

I think the overriding aim at this point is to have more good days than bad. To approach problems from a position of strength rather than fear. This is surprisingly difficult for me right now, but I do think month 5 will bring some progress. Maybe.