2012

I frowned with two steps left to descend, already craving coffee with cream, when the flickering flames cast moving shadows on the walls of the living room.  It's not like Mom - who stayed with me after Brother and the Ones departed yesterday - to fail in her shut-down-and-lock-up bedtime routine.

I cocked my head and blinked a couple of times before moving toward the kitchen to start coffee, pausing when Sprout wound around my ankle in a bid for kibble.  I was nudging him away so I could place his full dish on his placemat when I heard retching.

I straightened with increasing concern as he scampered away from the noise.  I hurried up the stairs, calling for Mom and taking a second to panic when her bed remained made and upstairs bathrooms were empty.

Jogging back downstairs, I found her in the powder room on the main floor, inquired after her and waited until she finished to help clean the mess as she returned to my comfy couch - a mere 3 steps away - and covered with the pretty chenille blanket I gave her for Christmas.

She has rested under that blue blanket all day between trips to the bathroom while I watched with concern, taking a short break only to try to nap away a migraine.

"Coke," Aunt instructed when I called her and reported our 12 hour long struggle.  "A spoonful every 15 minutes.  It may come up, but keep having her drink."

So I have dutifully spooned soda between her parched lips, watching twice more as she shuffled to the bathroom to make miserable noises.

I finally sat on the ottoman to pray over her, placing one hand in hers and the other gently on her sore tummy.  Head bowed, I asked God for more comfort and healing and rest.  To take care of Dad - who we miss so much despite his lack of efficacy when dealing with illness.  To care for our loved ones, though we avoided seeing them on Christmas.  To help us in our sadness and illness.

I'm not sorry to see this year end - it's been my most miserable collection of days thus far.  Yet my heart has healed a little bit, I think.  I face 2013 with a new MacBook Air so I can attempt to blog more.  I want to dance - looking terribly, breathlessly silly in my living room with my Xbox for company.  I have good goals at work.

And perhaps January 1 will be free of vomit and migraines.  Here's to hope.