Sunday, April 15, 2012

Art, Life & Other Notes

Upon regaining possession of my iPad, I began closing applications one after another - Smallest One has a short attention span and wants new and better and more. She's ever so sweet and spirited, making me desperately want one of my own even as I shudder at the thought.

Given that she's used to her iPod though, she's quite competent with my tablet and I grinned as I paged through nearly 100 pictures of Chienne. It gave me pause for well as I know my precious pup's various expressions and quirks, I have not captured them so well for posterity. And given that Smallest chose my parents' house over spending time with her cousins at the lake on Easter weekend, I have a bigger soft spot for her than before.


Remember my European trip? When everything seemed so easy and idyllic? I ordered prints of some of the photos - 8x10, 20x30 - and bought cut-it-yourself mattes at a craft store on the way to the cancer center with my folks. They've been sitting in SUVs - theirs and then mine - and I finally brought them inside to carefully measure openings when I returned to my house yesterday.

The scoff at an Exacto knife but obey a box cutter and I finally have images of that time neatly framed and hung in my living room, replacing the vintage posters I've displayed for years. They're a little ragged around the edges and perhaps not perfectly adjusted for contrast and balance, but I love them. Reminders of both happy times past and those still to come.


The canine traveled north with me. Senor Sprout remained with his abuelos so I'm graced with reports of his visits upstairs when I call to check in. Brother finally got to see him, indicating he was a very pretty cat before Sprout offered a snooty glare and scampered back to the basement.

Dad got to pet him this morning after he filled Spout's food dish. Mom sometimes gets to cuddle when she can't sleep at night.

"We like having him," she said when I called. "He's a good distraction at times." So I'm proud of the stripy one, serving as he is as a placeholder for us.


Chienne and I have mowed the lawn and done a bit of cleaning and slept since returning to our house yesterday. In the midst of a delicious nap this afternoon, my rest was disturbed by drumming outside the screen door at the head of my bed.

It would be blatantly false to call it music. So as the noise continued - played, I imagined, but a drunken toddler - it was soon joined by a drugged monkey on guitar. And they've continued most of the day. I finally went outside to behold the open garage across the street that contained two young boys rocking out. If they could translate only a fraction of their enthusiasm into talent, we'd be set.

In the meantime, I kind of wish I was deaf or it was hot or cold enough to close the doors to protect myself from the misery.


Fifty Shades of Grey (and the sequels) are wonderful. I know I normally read erotic romance so perhaps I'm not the most qualified to offer recommendations here, but I really loved it. So if you're in need of an engrossing story while you wait to take your parents to learn about their cancers - or another intense distraction - I'd suggest reading them.

And while the sex is plentiful and there is "kinky fuckery," it's really nicely done. I read the trilogy back-to-back-to-back (which took 3 days as I wasn't doing much else) and am very fond of EL James for offering me a much-needed escape.


I emailed myself Brother's phone number before I left for Europe. We simply didn't talk all that often before. It's now programmed into my mobile and I left a message yesterday, gently scolding him to check in more with Daddy and make sure he was spending time there while I was away.

I emailed myself my older brother's number before I left home. He's 11 years my senior and from Dad's first marriage. He apparently stopped by when I was young, but I don't recall ever meeting him. Dad has called him - talking for the first time in 20-30 years, I believe - and I'm vaguely tempted to reach out myself. Though, as I don't know how I feel about the whole situation, I'm not sure what I would say.


We could still use prayers if you have them to spare. Dad's blood counts are expected to drop this week - 10-14 days after the initiation of treatment. So think good neutrophil thoughts.

Mom decided on the partial breast irradiation, even after she and I beheld the device that will be implanted with horror. (It's larger than I expected. I told her she could do external beam instead.) Dad was in favor of the accelerated approach as was her (really, really wonderful) radiation oncologist so she signed on but is scared. So peace and strength be with her until I can return and take care of her again.

Brother and I are OK. More stressed than sad now that we've adjusted and both having difficulty sleeping. He drinks and smokes. I take prescription anti-anxiety pills alternated with melanin or Nyquil. I do, however, feel surrounded by love and support which is such a blessing. It's just at sleepy-time that I forget and panic in the face of what might be. So if anyone wants to sleep over and sing me songs or rub my back or tell me stories, I'm happy to post some sort of sign up sheet.


Psych Post Doc said...

Sounds like you're as good as can be expected, I wish sleep would come more easily for you.

I too am a fan of the Shades of Grey series, I'm about half way through with book 3!

Thinking of you and your family.

Suzy pepper said...

I know I haven't commented in forever (life is suddenly busy), I want you to know I always ray your posts and am sending as many good vibes as possible to you and your brother and your parents. I adore you, I really do, and I will e-rub your back any day. Everything will be okay. I know it will. If you ever ever need to talk, you have my email.

Suzy pepper said...

PS. Chienne is a beaut.

Anonymous said...

You've read my blog and so we've never met but I'm thinking of you.

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