Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Thanks for your email...

Dear Serge,

I appreciate you taking time to read my blog - I tend to be flattered when people do. I'm glad you enjoy your job at Jooble. I enjoy the logo with the bunny on it!

I have a job and rather hope I'm not looking for another very soon, but I'm happy to link to your site in the event that my small (but beloved) group of readers is interested in a search engine specific to job postings.

I very much hope you continue to enjoy your role there and find yourself both productive and challenged.

Wishing you success and happiness,

Dear Sam,

I like t-shirts. The other day, I was helping arrange a shipment of stuff at work (long story - not very interesting) and I was shockingly casual as I packed boxes and lifted crates. I was then called into a meeting with the president of another company wearing a gray t-shirt that was far too big that said "Patience is a waste of time." It was rather embarrassing, actually, but I normally enjoy glancing down to see if I've spilled something on myself and seeing a funny statement.

Honestly, I'm more likely to pick one up at the airport - you know, one of those 2 for $25 ones emblazoned with the name of some random connecting airport than to design my own. Though I do appreciate your invitation to design with your company. I imagine you're very good at what you do.

If you'll permit me just one piece of advice though, when you invite a single woman in her 30s that is accelerating toward spinsterhood to design a shirt - with a "blog logo, a memorable quote, or a picture of a cat"? I giggled for a moment, picturing myself as the crazy cat lady, but then I remembered that I'm more of a dog person. So we're cool.

Still, much luck in your shirt-making adventures! If any of my tens of readers might be interested in making shirts, I hope they'd consider ooshirts. I'm sure they're oo-rific.


Dear, sweet Google,

I hear nothing but good things about your company and campus and employees. And I know you make good products. I've even stopped thinking your April Fools jokes are real!

I understand social media is a big deal. While I ignore my Facebook account and would rather be attacked by birds than deal with Twitter, I do keep up with LinkedIn. But I don't need more notifications about the vast array of services you offer. I'm very pleased for and proud of you, but I just don't feel the need to drive traffic to my blog and keep track of visitors to my blog or continued banners that my Firefox is old. Believe me, I know the last one. My poor PowerBook is also elderly but it's still functional if you just jiggle the power cord where I dented the corner. It even has an old OS and won't support the new Firefox.

And if I do need help or additional services, dudes, you're Google. I'd use your delightfully powerful search engine to find what I sought.

Love you googles,

Dear Goday,

I would sincerely love to send Bibles to Nigeria for your study as a pastor and for the elderly people who need giant print text in your congregation. I've not been to church lately, you see, so I could use a good deed to make me feel like I'm not such a terrible Christian.

I have been giving to charity lately too. I recently bought a goat and a share of a deep well. I do tithe (when I attend) (which isn't often lately) (So I guess that's a lie about tithing.) and I try to be patient and kind. I give adopted animals from WWF for Christmas gifts. I really try to be good.

But my pal Google tells me that there is a scam to send Bibles to Nigeria - I read there's a black market there. So now I'm sad - you're either trying to trick me to make money (and perhaps you very much need the money) or you sincerely need Bibles. I shall pray about it.

May God bless you and yours,

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